Uncharted Waters

Yeah, it's been a very long time since I posted here. I actually forgot I had this little blog. Never the less, here I am.

I need some place to vent, and this blog is pretty disconnected from my online presence. So it's safe to talk about some things that I can't on Facebook. Now that I'm here, I'm not sure what to say.

I have known MM for 8 years. He was 15 and a brand new Senior Patrol Leader when I met him. I was a new Scoutmaster, and we began the leadership roles that would define us together.

Somewhere in there we became friends. MM aged out, and remained with the troop as adult leader. I mentored him, he helped me. Became my right hand. Became my kid brother.

We endured an episode of youth on youth sexual abuse in our troop. We spent hours and hours talking, discussing, supporting one another. He was the first person I texted when I had my heart attack, and he was the first non-family person I saw when I came out of surgery. Any time I needed help, he was there. He kept me on track and saw to the many things I tended to forget.

I trusted my son's life with him. I loved him. And I still do. That's the problem.

It turns out the young man I thought I knew had a dark side. For at least the past year, and probably longer, he has been sexually exploiting children. Using a fake Snap Chat profile to extort young boys into sending nude and sexually explicit pictures. Hundreds of them.

What the fuck, man. What the actual fuck.

I am beyond devastated. Broken. Rudderless.

I've been crying on and off for two weeks. Feeling angry, betrayed, heart broken, confused. Mourning the loss of a person I thought I knew. Someone I took pride in being partly responsible for. That's one of the great things about being a Scoutmaster. You get to take pride in the fine, upstanding young men you have a hand in molding. And then this happens.

I am friends with his father, and have been talking to him a lot. Trying to make sure he is OK. He is not.

Yesterday I talked to MM on the phone. He's in federal prison. I couldn't ask him any of the questions I have. I couldn't scream at him. All I could do was make small talk and ask him about his day. Surreal.

The hardest part of this is I still care about him. I worry for him. All while I am still horrified by him. And waiting for more information to come to light.

I read the complaint today, which is what prompted me to turn here. Absolutely revolting to read the details of the two charges against him, and the terrible knowledge that this is just the beginning.

I don't know where to go from here. How to feel or process. It's a nightmare from which there is no waking.

Show some love for Hallmark

It would appear that the good folks at Hallmark have begun selling greeting cards for same sex marriage. While this may appear to be forward thinking and inclusive, the some what less good folks at the American Family Association think differently.

They've gone to the trouble to set up a website where you can send an email to the Chairman of Hallmark expressing your disgust.

Funny thing is, you can edit the text of the email. What's to say one doesn't instead send an email of support? Eh?

Click here and turn the hate around.

[Note] You might want to just cut and paste the email address rather than using the AFA page. I got me some email from them this morning.

Screw you, high bidder!

All week I've been watching an auction on eBay for this original Burma Shave sign:

It was at $10 until this evening. With a few hours to go, it jumped up to $35. I sat on it until the last 39 seconds, and ended up getting out bidded at $65.

Fuck, I really wanted that. It's been a while since I caught the auction fever, so now I'm all riled up. I guess I'll have to make due with the knowledge that the asshole who got it ended up paying a lot more because of me.

I'm ready for my reach around

In order to help fill the state coffers, Massachusetts just put into effect an additional $1 per pack cigarette tax. So, add to the $4 a gallon of gas, now I have to spend $7 a day to feed my addiction.
Fuck you, Massachusetts. Sure, I'm the dumb pecker who continues to smoke despite the obvious health risk. I'm weak willed enough not to be able to easily conquer a minor addiction. But that's not the point. All I'm saying here is stop bleeding me dry, yo.

In other news, it took me two hours to get home today. Woohoo! The best part is I get to share the road with assholes like this: