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Oh shit

5 scientific reasons a zombie apocalypse could actually happen.


The only good news being, if any of these reasons come to pass, we've got some time to prepare.

Always Look On the Bright Side

Sure, it's only the first week of December and we've had a solid week of sub-freezing temps and varying amounts of that silly white stuff kids seem to love. It's been unpleasant and a bit of an adjustment, true. But on the plus side, it's perfect zombie weather. If this was post outbreak, most of the zombies would be frozen now. The ones that were still mobile would be very slow. Sure, it wouldn't be totally safe, but you could move around pretty freely and be able to off a good number of them.

Not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all.

I'll up the positive ante by mentioning I am also the proud owner of a pretty good sledding hill. It's not giant, but a plastic saucer would get you flying pretty good. In addition, there'll be enough snow to create an army or two of three foot snowmen.

Pretty, pretty good.

My Little Girl

Kids are funny.

Last night I stopped by Newbury Comics with Isabel. I had a few presents to pick up for co-workers, and I figured she wouldn't mind tagging along. As we were walking down one of the toy aisles, she spotted a plush doll and demanded to get down so she could see it. She grabbed it off the shelf, clutched it tight and started repeating "Baby doll! baby doll!" I couldn't get her to let go of it. She was in love. With this:


Nicholas, three years older than her, is scared of it. Isabel loves it so much, she slept with it all night, holding it in her arms.

You never can tell.

48%

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Not Enough Undead

I'm a little disappointed in myself. i just searched through my post tags for zombie entries, and found only three.

Considering I have more than a passing interest in the subject, this was a bit of a surprise.

Oddly enough, what spurred this was the fact that if you do a google search for "warm-blooded animals," my blog comes up with a post about defending the apartment we lived in in Weymouth. Strange.

We've since moved. Although I am proud to be a home owner, I am sorry to report that our current domicile would have to be abandoned in the event of an outbreak. There is no reasonable way to defend this house. It's one story, with three front doors. The basement level has a glass slider and a large front window. I've got lots of wood, but it's too risky. Flight is the only option.

So I'm reworking my plan.

On an interesting side note, I was revisiting the Bridgewater Triangle last night. If you follow the link and check out the map, you'll note that the top of the triangle is in Abington. Further examination shows that the exact point of the triangle falls on the intersections of Route 18 and Route 123.

That's pretty much where we live.

The Great Zombie Debate

Because it's not a question of if, but a question of when.

Good zombie weather

Nothing like a few days in a row of freezing temps to make it zombie safe out there. That is, safe for us.
Humans, of course, are warmed blooded creatures. We produce heat. Zombies are dead. They do not produce heat. They are room temperature.

Since the human body is made up of mostly water, freezing temps = frozen zombies.

It might suck to walk down to the Qwikimart in the cold, feeling the bite of the wind on my face. But, it's nice to know I won't feel the bite of zombie teeth on my arm because those fuckers are frozen solid.

I've been thinking about zombies lately. This is, sadly, not an unusual occurance. Anyhow, ever since we moved to the downstairs apartment, I've been concerned about defending ourselves against attack. We have 19 windows and 3 doors, and we're on the ground level. Not good.

Presuming that an actual zombie outbreak would follow the Romero model (slow, unthinking zombs), I think I've worked out a good plan. Break down the side entrance. It's about 10 feet off the ground with wooden steps and small landing. That'd give us plenty of wood to barricade the other 2 doors, and leave us with an escape route. Take down the neighbors fence, more wood. Nail and screw said wood over doors and windows from the outside. I have noticed in various movies that boarding up a window or door from the inside works well against small numbers of zombies. Any more than 10, and they'll push in the barricade with brute force alone. Since they can't think and aren't very coordinated, I doubt they could pry boards off the outside of the door.

I was thinking I would have to kill the upstairs neighbors. I don't like them, and I want the second floor as a fall back. Remember, always retreat upwards. Basements are a death trap. We could easily tear down the staircases to the second floor. JM had a good idea. Rather than kill the upstairs neighbors, bind them up and save them to use as bait should we decide to make a run for it.

I like that idea.

***Zombie Alert***

THREAT LEVEL - ELEVATED

The possibility of thousands of dead. A city deemed uninhabitable for 3-4 months. Bodies left to float. Not to mention a history of voodoo and black magic. These are the ingredients that make for the perfect breeding ground for zombies.
Once it starts, it'll spread fast. Too fast to stop. Preparations should be made now. If you have a zombie emergency plan, now is the time to activate it. If you don't have one, it is imperative to make one now. It is highly recommended that you obtain a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide at once.
Due to the scope of the disaster in Louisiana, we are faced with a possible Class 3 outbreak. For an example of how serious a Class 3 outbreak is, here is an Infection Simulator . As you will see, once it begins, there is almost no way to stop it.
As a public service, the Weymouth Zombie Patrol suggests the following measures be taken should you not already have an established emergency plan.
1. Obtain weapons. Firearms are the best defense. Check with your local law enforcement agencies about firearm regulations. PLEASE NOTE: Many states have mandatory waiting periods for firearms, especially hand guns. Buy now! Your best bet is a minimum of 3 guns: High powered rifle for distance shooting, a shotgun for close quarter fighting, and a handgun for last resort defense. Do not forget to stock pile the appropriate ammunition as well.
2. Seek defendable shelter. Your existing domicile may or may not suffice. You can fortify your current housing with wooden planks, boards and heavy nails. You can never have too much.
3. Create a stockpile of non-perishable food. Shop now, before panic and looting set in.
4. Devise a realistic escape plan. If you live in a highly populated area, your best chance for survival is getting out. There is no need to move to the hills until the outbreak occurs. Now is the time to chose a destination and secure shelter.
5.Pay close attention to the news. At the onset of an outbreak, there will be attempts to suppress the truth. Only by paying close attention will you be prepared.
And finally, should you come in contact with the living dead, DESTROY THE BRAIN!
And always save one bullet for yourself. The infection rate from zombie bites is 100%.

Godspeed to all of, especially the people of the Gulf region. Hopefully, an outbreak will not occur. If it should, we must all work together. Our survival depends upon it.