What is and should not be

So, yesterday I get home from work and my stepfather says to me "I want to tell you something before your wife gets home."

OK.

He's out of work right now, and apparently has plenty of time to kill during the day. It seems many years ago he purchased the "5 Gates of Hell." He had never worked up the nerve to actually try it on. Until yesterday.

Now, mind you, he's relating this story to me as I'm standing in the kitchen, ice coffee in hand and my children playing in the next room. He manged to force his junk through the rings, and soon discovered it wasn't going to be easy removing them. He was nice enough to tell me he had shaved earlier that morning, so at least his pubes weren't getting caught.

He did manage to get the thing removed in time to pick up my son from preschool, and without a trip to the ER.

So, after he related this misadventure and went home to my dear mother, I had to ask myself: Was I more disturbed that he owns this contraption and decided to play with it (at 60), or by the fact that he so casually decides to relate this tale to me?

The horror, the horror.

Dude, there are just some things you don't share with your children. THIS IS ONE OF THEM!!!!