Saturday, July 16, 2005

See You Next Tuesday

I have a past I'm not entirely thrilled to possess.
Nick Cave knows what I'm talking about....

"Ain't Gonna Rain Anymore"

Once there came a storm in the form of a girl
It blew to pieces my snug little world
Sometimes I swear I can still hear her howl
Down through the wreckage and the ruins

And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone
And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone

Now the storm has passed over me
I'm left to drift on a dead calm sea
And watch her forever through the cracks in the beams
Nailed across the doorways of the bedrooms of my dreams

And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone
And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone

Now I got no one to hold
Now I am all alone again
It ain't too hot but it ain't too cold
And there is no sign of rain

And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone
And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone

And I'mHere I'm on my own
She ain't coming back no moreShe ain't coming back no more
She ain't coming back no more
Say what you will, I don't care

And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby's gone, yeah
And it ain't gonna rain anymore
Now my baby has gone

Her name was Heather Belmore. I guess I loved her, or at least I thought I did. I loved her lies.
It's been 6 years since I left that shipwreck behind, and she still haunts the chambers of my heart.
These days I tend not to wax as poetic as I used to. I certainly have no room for her kind of drama in my life. No patience for it. But there was a time when I thought I was Prince Charming.
I'll be getting to her story before too long on my JS blog. On this quiet summer afternoon, those memories are crawling up from the deep, like the dead rising from the grave. Stupid zombie emotions.
She is one person I will go to the grave hating. That said, I must extend her one thank you. She taught me a great many things. Lessons I probably didn't need, but I got schooled anyway. The experience made me a better, stronger person.
Ah, fuck it... she's a psychotic C word. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

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