I Object!

KG and I do our best to avoid exposing TKJr to commercials. His primary TV viewing has been PBS and Noggin. Good programs, commercial free.

Not long ago, we discovered PBS Kids Sprout. It's a cable channel, and features mostly PBS Kids programming. 24 hours a day.

When we first started watching it, it was mostly commercial free. Every now and then we'd see an ad for Gerber life insurance, or some cleaning product, or maybe a CD collection of 80's music. I didn't really object to that. I understood that Sprout, while carrying the PBS brand, is a cable station, and makes no claim to be commerical free. Plus, the rare ads were geared toward parents.

A few months ago, they fired the host of the evening program. She had apparently appeared in a 30 second short called "The Technical Virgin." I saw the video. She wasn't naked, she wasn't lewd. It was inappropriate for kids, yes, but my three year old does not know how to google.

It took months for Sprout to replace her. In the interm, they started sneaking in more and more commercials. I didn't get pissed. Chucky Cheese, they sponser PBS. Huggies Clean Team? Yes, we did have to go buy Clean team hand soap and wipes because our son had to have them. But at least it teaches him to clean himself.

Now, even with a new host, Sprout has moved on to all out commerical breaks. Last night I saw the ad that has pushed me over the edge. Meet "Itsy Bitsy Spider Man."

Not only is that straight out pandering of useless, overpriced crap to children, it also happens to be the stupidest damn thing I have ever seen. What's next, a Tickle Me Hulk?

Seriously, folks. Let's get something straight. Muppet Babies was a bad idea. Pooh babies was stupid. But baby superheroes? No.

Superheroes were not born super. With the exception of Superman (technically an alien made super by the sun's yellow rays), they were normal people until something happened to them either during puberty or in early adulthood. Are we now to believe that Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider at daycare? That Bruce Banner was zapped by gamma rays in the nursery? That at 6 months, Bruce Wayne decided to avenge the murder of his parents? I think not.

To quote Cartman: "That's gay. Hella gay. Liberace gay."