Monday, November 28, 2005


I love them. But, that's beside the point.

So, my car was dead again this morning. I got it going with a quick jump from KG's car. 4PM comes around, it's dead again. RB tried to give me a jump. Seems his Matrix just didn't have the amps to do the job. Thankfully,Molius drives an Explorer. That got me going.

Had a great commute home, no traffic. Stopped in at NTB, bought a new car battery ($70) and cashed in my voucher for a free oil change. That should keep the car running trouble free for a bit.

Work sucked. Management seems to think I have the time and inclination to just keep on taking on more shit. Well, if I had co-workers who did their fucking jobs... I might. But I don't.

Well, that's all I've got. Time to sit with the wife and make Christmas list. Woohoo.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Weekend's End

Ahh, Sunday night.
Friday sucked. My car wouldn't start, so I had to take the T into work.
I had moved my car onto the sidewalk in front of the house on Thursday to make room in the driveway for company. When I went to move it back, it stalled and then wouldn't turn over.
I suspected vapor lock.

Heard a lot of theories. Yesterday I called AAA. I had worn down the battery trying to get the thing going. No luck with the jump. The guy thought it moght be the alternator or the fuel line. Today my folks came by, and we pushed the car back into the driveway. Hooked the cables up to their car... mine started right up. I was right. Seems the fact that the car was parked on the street at an angle caused the vapor lock. Go figure.
Tons of laundry on Saturday. Grocery today. Time for bed now and back to work tomorrow.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


Happy Turkey Day, y'all. Here's hoping no one needs to go shopping tomorrow.

Monday, November 21, 2005


So, Sunday I decided to spend a good portion of my day raking the yard. It's one of those ongoing, never ending projects.
The yard on our side of the house is mostly dirt. The people that used to live down here never raked or weeded. When the new neighbors upstairs cleared the brush, we were left with a big old patch of dirt.
Anyway... I got all the leaves up in that area and started trying to level out the dirt a bit. I've been thinking about plating some grass seed. As I was raking the dirt, I came across a couple of bricks. I dug them out and hucked them into the woods. Then I noticed a big jagged rock sticking out of the ground. Thinking of my tot, I started prying it out. It was pretty loose. All of a sudden my arm started sinking into the ground.
Well, I had stumbled upon a well. Seems someone in the not so distant past decided to cover it up with some big rocks and a lot of dirt. I pulled the rocks out and looked down into a 10 foot hole in my yard. The opening was big enough to swallow a toddler, but not wide enough for me to fit into.
Needless to say, I was horrified and pissed. Granted... I uncovered the thing. That said, it was easy enough to open, easy enough for a little kid.
I wasn't sure what to do with my new discovery. I wanted to go down in and explore, but the opening was tight and there was no way to get a ladder in there. I didn't want to just throw the rocks back on either. So, I started raking all the leaves and sticks and logs and rocks I could find into. A couple hours later, I had pretty much filled it up. Sure, the leaves will settle, but I plan on capping that sucker before I rebury it.
Fucking landlord.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

What a day

Today I got my first look at the girl who will someday break my heart.

KG is carrying a girl. We haven't settled on a name yet. Of course, I'm pushing for Leia. But Stella, Nicola and Isabel are the front runners at the moment.

I'll probably tell my mother we're thinking about Felacia. That ought to get her goat.

In other news: Got new glasses. Managed to track down the illusive Spudtrooper. Bought TKJr a potty that looks like a real toilet, complete with flushing sound. He was pretty excited by it. Even sat down on it and said "Potty!" Then he took a huge shit in his diaper.

As soon as I can find scanner, I'll post some pics of the fetus. It was amazing to see that tiny little person tucked away inside of my wife. I can't wait to meet her.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Hats off to Roy Harper

4:18PM I'm sitting in my car, idling at the entrance to the Third Artery Tunnel, headed South on I93. Specifically, my car is standing still next to a blue sign for Tufts/ New England Medical Center.

4:30PM I emerge from the South end of the tunnel. I've traveled 1.7 miles. That averages out to about 6 mph.

5:02PM I reach the I93 South/ Route 3 South split. 10.8 miles down.

5:09PM I hit Exit 16B on Rt 3. 15.9 miles. Only took me 51 minutes to go just shy of 16 miles.

On the plus side, I got to listen to all of disc 2 of Echoes . That's got to be good for something.

We had our first Hats Off ceremony at work today. It's one of those lame customer service initiatives, right up there with Hawaiian shirt Fridays. The idea here is you nominate someone for a Hats Off by filling out an orange form with specific examples of occasions where he or she has gone beyond the call of duty. A committee reviews the submissions, and the winners are given a hunk of tranlusent plastic shaped like a top hat. Woohoo.
A good number of people were nominated, and apparently all of them got an award. RB got one, which was nice to see. I earned myself an ass whupping from Molius for nominating Trainwreck. Two of the biggest pain in the ass nurses we have won one. They got it for being good nurses.
I was not nominated, and was a little surprised by how ticked I was over it. I go out of my way to provide excellent customer service. Every day. People tell me they appreciate everything I do. Just not enough to fill out an orange form apparently.

That said, the best hats Off went to JM. He got it, so we were told, because he drove to our SW office when they lost power and transported all our flu vaccines up to the MN office to save them from going bad. Turns out, he told me later, he was just walking around the office, doing nothing, when the woman who drove them up to our office grabbed him and asked him to carry the boxes in and put the vaccines in the fridge.

That, my friends, is the best reason for an award I've heard this year. JM is my hero of the week.

Friday, November 11, 2005

The Beaster Bunny

I was reading Nullmuse's blog yesterday, and was reminded of the time, many years ago, when I was a mall Easter Bunny. This must have been around 1993, as I was working part time at the funeral home, and was looking for some extra money. I saw an ad in the paper for seasonal help being either an Easter Bunny or a bunny helper. So, I showed up at the mall for an interview. There were maybe 10 other people there, all women. They mostly got hired to be helpers. Me, I got to be the rabbit.

It wasn't a bad gig. The pay was good, and I only had to spend 4 hours at a time sitting in the suit. I actually had a lot of fun. When business was slow (which wasn't often), I would get up and dance around, trying to attract customers. My favorite thing to do was to overtly flirt with both men and women who walked by. They, of course, couldn't tell who or what was under the mask, and most of them didn't know how to react.

If I'm making people feel uncomfortable in public, I'm usually pretty happy.

Anyway... for the most part, it was fun. I had a few small kids freak out when their asshole parents tried to force them to sit on my lap. I didn't get peed on, which I was informed happens often. I did get stuck with two very fat kids on my lap for 15 minutes. Their mother had to run to the ATM or something, and left them sitting on me. You can only nod your giant bunny head so many times at these kids before you want to scream. One brillant mother decided to let her kid bring a carrot to feed to the Easter Bunny. Nice thought, mom. However, here's some info for y'all... The person inside the bunny suit is usually not 7 feet tall. That big smiley mouth on the bunny? That's where the actual person's face is. That's where he looks out. So, I'm sitting there in my chair with a happy little kid in my lap. I never saw the carrot. I didn't hear him say "Here's a carrot for you, Mr. Rabbit." I was just sitting there, looking down at him when suddenly this freaking carrot comes jabbing into the mouth hole and rams me in the freaking eye! I managed not to scream, thankfully.

On a side note, one of the other women who wore the bunny suit told me a funny story about her last time out as the Easter bunny. Seems one kid was terrified, but had been talked into sitting in her lap. He looked up at the rabbit, and stared into the mouth. To his horror, he saw a woman's face looking out. He started screaming and crying, and ran to his mother sobbing "The Easter Bunny ate a woman! I saw her head in his mouth!"

Classic. But beside the point.

So, on my last weekend playing the bunny, the manager forgot to switch me out at the end of my shift. Instead of 4 hours in costume, I was going on 6. She finally realized her error, and had this little old lady who was one of the "helpers" escort me to the other end of the mall where the changing room was. So here I am, sweaty and tired, wearing a fur suit with a gigantic rabbit head on top. I'm shuffling through the mall with this lady holding one hand. I'm waving at all the little kids with my other hand. All of a sudden, I see a group of boys, about 11 or 12 heading my way. I sense trouble. I leaned over to my helper and quietly told her to keep an eye out.

Too late. One of the kids started pushing me and grabbing at the rabbit head. I tried to wave him off, to no avail. My helper chimed in with "Don't hurt Mr. Bunny." That really helped. The kid started turning me around, and made a serious grab for the head. He wanted to pull the Easter Bunny's head off, right there in the middle of the mall.

Well, I snapped. I grabbed the little shit by the shoulder and slugged him. Not an all out punch, but I caught him off guard and he went down. I then proceeded to kick him. I was pissed. So there I am, kicking this little shit. I look up, and what do I see as I peer out of the inside of the rabbit's mouth? A group of childern, small children, standing and staring in horror as the Easter Bunny beats the snot out of another kid.

I stopped kicking the punk, straightened my bunny vest, and waved at the kids. I grabbed my helper by the hand and whispered "Let's go. Now." It's been years since. But I still wonder about those little kids, and if they ever sat in a rabbit's lap after that.

Happy Air Day!

I want to to take a moment to extend a heartfelt and sincere thank you to all the men and women of the American Armed Forces. Because of your selfless devotion to our country, we have a holiday today. And because of that holiday, my commute in this morning only took 30 minutes.
I salute you!

While we all pause to reflect on our country's veterans, let's not forget that today is also Air Day.

Take a deep breath now, and be thankful for good old, sweet air.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Paving Operations: Expect Delays

Expect Delays? You mean my usual travel time of 1+ hours (to drive 25 miles, mind you) might be longer now?

Fuck you, Menino. Fuck you, Mitt. Fuck you Big Dig. Fuck you, Mass Highway Department.

And fuck you, City of Boston. Fuck you right in the ass.

I want my flying car now.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Vader's Fist

I'll start this off by saying I'm fucking sick. Head cold, chest cough, all that fun shit.
I spent the better part of Tueday in armor. I don't recommend coughing and sneezing inside a stormtrooper helmet. It sucks.
Anyhow, I got the ROTS DVD. Still haven't watched it, but I did start watching the bonus stuff today. I stayed home sick from work. Slept until 11, then got up and dialed into work. Worked until about 2:30. Then I played XBox for a while.
I picked up a copy of Battlefront 2 Tuesday night. I have a feeling I won't be blogging much for a bit. The game is awesome. Great graphics, a much improved single player mode. You work your way through all the military campaigns, through all 6 films. Not only that, but you play as a member of the 501st! You can't get much cooler than that!
Well.... maybe Stubbs. I won't know for sure until I own that as well.