Friday, September 29, 2006

RIP Stimpy

I stopped in at Howie's Rock Emporium today for a visit. Some things never change.

However, I was saddened to learn that the warehouse cat, Stimpy, had passed on 2 years ago.

You were an awesome cat, Stimpy. May no wild coyotes bite you in the ass in kitty heaven.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


Well, if nothing else, it'll push the post with my horrid high school portrait down. So, compliments of Names, who picked it up from Mycalls, here we are:

1. One book that changed your life: The Rape of Nanking by Iris Chang. That pretty much snuffed out the last lingering shreds of altruism that might have been lurking around inside of me.

2. One book that you've read more than once: Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut. It makes me laugh out loud every time.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island: A complete Calvin and Hobbes collection would keep me highly entertained.

4. One book that made you laugh: I'm not a huge Stephen King fan, but the story about Lard Ass Hogan in "The Body" made me laugh out loud for several minutes.

5. One book that made you cry: About 3 years ago, for some strange reason, any book concerning the death, dismemberment, mutilation or harm of a child highly disturbs me.

6. One book that you wish had been written: The New Testament. I can promise you's like my version better.

7. One book that you wish had never been written: I'll agree with Mikey and Names. All stories must be told, even the ones we disagree with.

8. One book you're currently reading: The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. It's not a matter of if, but when.

9. One book you've been meaning to read: I have an entire bookshelf taller than me for just such books.

10. Now tag five people: Knock yourselves out.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

can you say....

For the love of fuck!

Sort of reminds me of Pink's last days alone in his hotel room.

So, this brings me to another head scratcher:

Channel 4 is to broadcast a documentary showing a human corpse being hung on a cross to depict Christ's suffering.

I quote: "Christian Voice, which led the protest against broadcasting Jerry Springer The Opera, has announced it may prosecute on grounds of disrespect to Christ."

Umm, excuse me? Disrespect to Christ is a prosecutable offense? Give me a friggin break.

If that's the case, the next one of you fuckers to say "Jesus Christ!" is getting his or her ass sued, yo!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

High School Horror

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

All I can say in my defense is it was 1991 and I was a huge Def Leppard fan.


Monday, September 18, 2006

Rate Your Poo!

Your ideal bowel movement should fall between Type 3 and 4.

Define this

The powers to be at work decided Operations could use some education. So, they signed us all up for a 3 week Medical Terminology class. 2 days a week for 2 hours. Fun!

Things can get busy fast at work if processing isn't being done. So, I do forsee some problems before this class is over. I actually didn't need to take it, as I pretty much took pre-med when I was going to college for funeral service. Sure, it was 15 years ago, but I've retained a good portion. Medical terminology isn't hard to grasp. It's mainly just memorizing Latin roots. But, I decided to take the class regardless. Hey, if work is going to start piling up, I'm not going to be the only sucker sitting at my desk.

Anyway, in honor of medical terminology classes, I'd like to share my all time favorite term with y'all. Of course, I did make it up myself, but it works well for me.

fecalencephalosis. In short, the condition of having shit for brains. Enjoy!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


They don't actually commit suicide in droves. See here

That said, I'm all for jumping on the bandwagon. So, here's a meme, thanks to ella.

Consider yourself tagged, if you go for that sort of thing.

1. cracking my knuckles
2. cigarettes
3. caffeine
4. my children's laughter
5. masturbation
6. ella

1. raccoons
2. brain cancer
3. zombies
4. losing my family
5. debt
6. George W
1. rucksack
2. moist
4. heifer
5. fece
6. nigga

1. eBay
2. Newbury Comics
4. Old Navy
5. Toys r us
6. Ralph America

1. Pizzeria Uno
2. Chillis
3. El Sarape (local Mexican joint)
4. Bickford's
5. any greasy spoon diner
6.Abington Ale House

1. Play the guitar well
2. Raise well adjusted kids
3. Quit smoking.
4. Get along with my wife.
5. Use the Force.
6. become invisible.

1. napalm in the morning
2. coffee
3. moist vagina
4. babies
5. fresh cut grass
6. autum leaves

1. my red Swingline stapler
2. Post Its
3. drug company pens
4. stress balls
5. binders
6. paper clips, large

1. food service
2. retail
3. sales
4. law enforcement
5. politics


1.George Bush
2.Dick Cheney
3.Bob of Bob's Furniture
4. David Copperfield
5. Michael Bay
6. Foghorn Leghorn

Monday, September 11, 2006

Never Forget (excuse the repost)

The Death Star - Y4

Today, the Empire pauses to remember the terrorist attack at Yavin 4, which resulted in the destruction of the newly operational Death Star, killing all 45,802,934 people on board.

The Death Star was a symbol of the Empire's might. It was the final piece in Emperor Palpatine's galactic defense program. With it's completion, citizens across the galaxy could rest assured that they were safe, and order and peace would be maintained.

It is for these very reasons that the terrorist organization known as The Rebel Alliance chose it as a target. Not only would they keep themselves safe from destruction, but they thought they could deal a deadly blow to the resolve of the people of the galaxy and the Empire itself. They succeeded in their plan to destroy the Death Star, but they failed to topple the Empire. They failed to beat us, and our way of life.

The biggest threat to the Empire has always been the radical extremists that comprise the Rebel Alliance. They had been attempting to spread sedition throughout the galaxy since the formation of the Empire. Members of the Senate who had been sympathetic to both the Separatists and the Jedi formed a shadow organization within the Senate. That was one of the reasons for Emperor Palpatine's dissolution of the Senate only weeks before the attack on the Death Star. It was paramount to galactic security to protect all systems from the influence of these radicals. With the loss of their politic arm, the Rebels turned to terrorism.

It was in orbit around Yavin 4 (Y4) that the Rebel Alliance committed their most horrendous act of terrorism. After luring the battle station to their secret base, they unleashed an unexpected attack. No capital ships waited to meet the Empire. Instead, snub fighters were sent in on suicide runs to attack the station directly. One of those fighters, piloted by the radical extremist Luke Sywalker, penetrated the outer defense, and launched a proton torpedo directly in to an exhaust port on one of the Death Star's trenches. The resulting chain reaction destroyed the entire station, instantly killing all on board.

Those on board mainly consisted of military personal, the bulk of them being clones, serving as Stormtroopers. Although their existence within the galaxy has been a matter of debate for the past 3 decades, the fact is they faithfully serve the people of the Empire. They fight and die with no other thought than the glory of the Empire. Their selfless devotion to the principles of the Empire and it's people is something we should all honor.

In addition to the soldiers and security forces, there were countless officers, technicians and their families. Families living within the Death Star. In fact, the Death Star had just begun a Day Care center. Of the 45,802,934 people killed aboard the Death Star, only 31,622,963 were military. The remainder... innocent citizens, families of the Empire.

A horrible, cowardly attack by a terrorist group. But, they have not won. All available resources within the Imperial Navy are being pressed in the hunt for radical extremists Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, and Han Solo. The leaders of this dangerous group. Skywalker, in addition to being a cunning military strategist, is rumored to be a member of the outlawed religion know as the Jedi Order. The Jedi had once served the Republic, but had attempted to overthrow then Chancellor Palpatine and the Senate at the height of the Clone Wars. Palpatine ordered their execution during the Great Jedi Purge, and outlawed the religion as one of his first acts as Emperor. There are also rumors that Luke Skywalker may be the son of Anakin Skywalker, a prominent Jedi during the Clone Wars who disappeared among much speculation just before Order 66 ushered in the formation of the Empire.

There have been changes for everyone in this post Y4 galaxy. Security is tighter. Power among the regional governments has been consolidated. People are required to carry personal identification at all times. Ships are subject to search and seizure. All in efforts to prevent Rebel cells from operating and carrying out further attacks throughout the galaxy.

With the implementation of the Y4 Imperial Act, we can rest assure that all is being done to protect everyone, everywhere. The Rebel Alliance will be defeated, and peace will once again be restore to the galaxy under the benevolent leadership of Emperor Palpatine.

To all those that died at Y4, we remember you. You will not be forgotten.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Happy 9/11 Day!

Might as well make the most of the anniversary. Be happy, give thanks we didn't die.

Oh, and for the love of all that is holy:

Stop reminding me not to forget! I can't, OK, so you can spare me. I remember. I always will.

Thank you, come again.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


Someone else made an offer and the house is off the market. I've scheduled 8 viewings for Sunday.

Whoopie fucking doo

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Now the fun starts

After looking at 30+ houses, I think we may finally be done. I called our agent today and told him we want to make an offer on one of the houses we saw yesterday.

He's calling me tonight so he can write up the offer.

Woohoo! Looks like I can kiss solid bowel movements good-bye for the next few months.