Happy Birthday, Bluebird

My baby girl turns 2 tomorrow.

I told her when she was first born not to be in a hurry to gtow up.

She didn't listen.

Happy birthday, KG

36 years young today.

I love you, my dear friend.

That was easy

I forsook my real time viewing of BSG tonight for the opportunity to re-establish a long neglected connection.

And it was good.

I've missed hanging with Dude. We broke up years ago, and it's well past time that we rekindled that flame. We've grown older, perhaps not wiser. We have significant others and lives, but the kinship we shared is still there.

Plus, there's always whale cock to talk about.

Urban Legend? You be the judge

Here's the story as it was related to me:

Many years ago, two brothers inherited their father's house. The brothers were not on good terms, in fact they didn't speak to each other and wanted nothing to do with one another. They could not come to agreeable terms over the disposition of their father's house. Neither brother wanted to sell, nor did they wish to live together. Taking a cue from King Solomon, they did the only logical thing. They split the house in half.



I don't know how much truth there is to the tale, but here's the house. Tell me that doesn't look like a cut in half house.

Toy of the week

Yeah, I'm not much of a Trekkie, but I do have the odd toy or two floating around. This phaser projects a light on the wall and came with a couple of discs to project the Enterprise and some other shit. Long lost, but I believe the light and sound still work.

Chochotas

It's only Tuesday, and so far it's been an overly painful week at work. Mostly due to three individuals.

I don't ask for much from other people. All I want is for them to do their jobs. Accurately, and in a timely fashion. Is that asking too much?

Apparently.

There's not a lot I can do about Rat-pizda. Eveyone there, from management on down is too afraid of her rabidity to do anything about it. Whatever. She's certifiable, there's no denying it.

MD, on the other hand, she stepped on the wrong toes.

I ended my day having a lengthy and surprisingly productive chat with the district manager. I explained how a certain someone was attempting to order my people around, how a number of times she has been wrong and insisted otherwise. She has made some unreasonable requests, and has been sporting a real attitude as of late. AMM is going to have a talk with her tomorrow about her "behavior."

I'd call this a victory for me, but knowing the vindictive nature of these people, I'm sure I'll end up paying for this. Again and again.

Beer me

75 years ago today, President Franklin D Roosevelt repealed the prohibition on beer, declassifying it as an "intoxicating liquor." Although it would be a while yet for the 18th amendment to be repealed in it's entirety, today marks the anniversary of the return of good old, delicious beer.

Tonight I will happily indulge in a pint or two of Sam Adams, celebrating one hell of a President, and one hell of a patriot and brewer.

Thanks, guys!

Oh, and thankfully after inspecting the bottle of Sam Adams Light currently in hand, I noted the embossing on the bottom of the bottle reads N17, not N35. So I can drink in peace.

Thoughts about the wrong eyed Jesus

Upon us all a little melancholy must fall.

Unbidden memories have surfaced through the veil of dreams, turning my thoughts to the past.

I can't help but entertain these uninvited guests that have floated to the surface. Ruminating on the whys and hows that have brought me to my present place. I dismiss the what ifs, as that train of thought bears no fruit. But the urge to set the record straight and tie up loose ends grips me for the moment.

I can't help but wonder if the reason I've never reached my destination is due to the amount of time I spend reviewing and revisiting the journey to date. In the past I've hoped to work out my trajectory, to tease out where I might be headed. Now I know too many variables exist to make that determination.

"Still waters run deep
Deep in me.
I've got this crazy way
Crazy way of swimming in still waters."

It is accomplished

Well, our new found Irish friend completed the restoration of our stone wall today. I'm quite pleased. With the addition of some fill, some grading, perhaps a little terracing, that pasrt of the yard will be looking rather spiffy.


Not too shabby for two days work, I must say! Patty will be back in October, and promised to check in and see if we need more work done. We may. We may.

Another Brick in the Wall

KG's new boyfriend apparently came over today to do some more work on the wall. I must say I'm impressed, especially considering the weather was not pleasant today. From the forked tree to the left was all rebuilt today:

He knows how to stack stones:

This part of the wall was intact, but loose on the top. He cemented smaller stones to make a nice, stable top:

It should look pretty darn nice once it's done!

The Pluck of the Irish

So, KG had the day off on Friday. She took her car into the shop for a much needed oil change. While she was waiting on said oil change (and repair/replacement of faulty oil cap) she came to the aid of an elderly Irishman looking for a car rental office. He had a thick accent and couldn't understand why U-Haul didn't have any cars.

At any rate, she hooked him up. He was so grateful, he returned a while later to thank her, and offer his services as a stone mason. Turns out he's from County Kerry in Southern Ireland. And he's a stonemason!

He showed up this morning, and sure enough, for $1250, he's rebuilding our stone wall, with Old World skillz! I'll be sure to take more pictures as it progresses. Hopefully during the day:

In other news: I bought a 42cc 18in Homelite chainsaw today. My stepfather and I managed to fell one of the offending trees along our perimeter. Three more to go. It didn't take long, and there was only one hairy point when the tree decided it wanted to fall through the fence and into the church's playground. Thankfully, we managed to talk it into leaning the other way and getting caught on one of the other trees. An hour later, we managed to get it to fall into my yard, where it literally exploded. It appears carpenter ants had eaten out the entire center of the tree.

The Fall of Troy

I had one of those rare, weird moments on my drive in this morning where a song suddenly reaches out and throttles you, for no apparent reason.

I was listening to "Orphans" on the ride in this morning, the Bawlers disc. "The Fall of Troy" has been a favorite of mine for years, ever since I discovered it on the Dead Man Walking soundtrack. It's a melancholy song of loss and pain. There's just something about it that has always stirred me.

At any rate, as I was alone in the car I was singing along with Tom. I hit the second verse, and all of a sudden I was overcome by a hitching sob and tears sprung into my eyes. I couldn't keep singing. I had to stop for fear of actually breaking down. The song went on, and after it ended the feeling went away. When the song had started, I was feeling slightly groggy. When it ended, I was wide awake and refreshed.

What the fuck?

Over tired? Perhaps. The mention of a young boy named Nick going bad having a different resonance in my life now? Likely. I don't know. I think, for a brief moment there, I connected with the heart of the song. The emotion Tom was attempting to convey. It's kind of the flip side of one of those neck snapping moments. The one where a song makes you sit up straight and pledge allegiance to a particular musician. I've passionately loved Waits for many, many years. But today, he reached out of the speaker and made me feel something. Pretty damn cool.

It's the same with men as with horses and dogs
Nothing wants to die
Evelyn James they killed in a game
With guns too big for their hands
Just off St. Charles in No-Mans Land
And you'll have to find your own way home, boys
You'll have to find your own way home

The oldest was Troy, an eighteen year-old boy
Shot dead in March with a robbery
His brother started out to hell and to ruin
Troy's killer was never caught they say
Young nick he just went bad that day
Now he'll have to find his own way home, boys
He'll have to find his own way home

Why cook dinner?
Why make my bed?
Why come home at all?
Out the door and through the woods
There is a world where nothing grows

It's hard to say grace and to sit in the place
Of someone missing at the table
Mom's hair sprayed tight
And her face in her hands
Watching TV for answers to me
After all she's only human
And she's trying to find her own way home, boys
She's trying to find her own way home

My legs ache
My heart is sore
The well is full of pennies

Farewell, jalopy

7 years, 62,000 miles spent together. In the end, you were a textbook example of a POS car, but that was mainly due to my neglect.

I have many fond memories. Driving around with KG, carrying my first born child home from the hospital. Sitting in traffic for 8 1/2 hours (Never forget: 12/13). You were a good car. A reliable car. Now you're gone.

$300 cash. That's what I got for you. Here's hoping the guy who carted you off breathes some life back into you. His verdict: Blown head gasket. Amongst other things.

Although I have a history of neglecting them, I'm fond of my various automobiles. This one was a trooper.

Toy of the week

Harry Booth from The Black Hole. Yes, I have an action figure of Ernest Borgnine.

Tootsie

While surfing the internets today at work, I discovered a nifty virtual makeover app on Tazz.
I had some fun with it, and here are the horrifying results:

Rock the Vote

DIY Network is having a contest to give a makeover to America's worst front yard. I submitted two pictures in the hopes of getting on and getting some much needed help with landscaping. Get your butt on over here, and help us out by rating our lawn the worst!

Definition of "WTF"

Sheriff: Woman Sat on Toilet for 2 Years

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) — Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.

Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.

The case has been the buzz Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said of the bathroom incident. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

-Associated Press

Toy of the week

Maximilian from Disney's The Black Hole. Funny story: I used to pretend the figure of Dr. Alex Durant was me, code named Lightening, when I played with my GI JOE guys.