Sunday, October 16, 2005

Heebie Jeebies


I'm a hardcore horror fan. I've been enjoying the genre since I was way too young to be watching such things. My biggest complaint is usually I don't get scared, or even spooked by horror movies.
Well, last night I confess I actually got the willies. And from a classic, no less. One I've seen a hundred times.
Halloween.
I didn't start watching it until after 10 last night. After it was over, I went out onto the porch for a smoke with the theme music still playing on the stereo (5.1 y'all!). It's been overcast and raining for 8 straight days. When I went out for a butt before starting the movie, it still was.
So, I step out there, and the yard is bright with moon light. An eerie wind is blowing strong, and the sky is clear. The moon is full. Spooky.
But it didn't end there.
Around 2AM, KG and I were awoken by what sounded like TK Jr. wailing. We both jumped up and glanced at the monitor. No sound registering there. The we heard it again, an unearthly wail full of terror and menace. It sounded like a dying baby, and it was right outside the bedroom door.
It came again and again. Then I realized what it was. The trailer trash neighbors upstairs had left the porch door wide open, and 2 cats were in the back hallway fighting. They were literally right next to us, seperated by a thin and ancient wall.
I got up to take a leak, and as I passed by the door I grabbed the handle and shook it hard and loud. KG and I both heard the cats crash down the stairs and out of the hall.
I decided I had to close the outside door so this wouldn't happen again. This is where the real fear comes in. Now mind you, 20 years ago the sound of cats fighting at night scared me to death. I would become paralyzed with fear when I heard it. Now, not so much... but I was slightly unnerved. Worse yet, our door to the back hall opens out into the hall, and the only light is out there. There's no switch inside.
So, I grabbed the trusted "Zombie Crusher" (a Louisville Slugger for those that don't know me), steeled my nerves, and opened the door. No sound in the hall. I tried the light... no luck. It was dead. The bright moonlight was illuminating the doorway slightly above me. I walked up the few steps to the door, and flipped the switch for the porch light. Again nothing.
At this point, my hackles were raised. I closed the outside door, leaving myself in a pitch black stairwell. I scrambled back down to our door, tore through it, and latched it with haste.
At this point, I was so unnerved I needed a cigarette. This, of course, meant going back outside. I opted for the relative safey of the front door. I stood on the front porch, smking my stress cigarette, peering out into the moonlit yard. I could hear the "Halloween" theme in my head, and I half expected to see the form of a large man standing in the shadows, staring silently.

Thank you John Carpenter, and thank you rat bastard yard cats. I haven't had a good scare like that in ages.

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