Thursday, December 08, 2005

Good zombie weather

Nothing like a few days in a row of freezing temps to make it zombie safe out there. That is, safe for us.
Humans, of course, are warmed blooded creatures. We produce heat. Zombies are dead. They do not produce heat. They are room temperature.

Since the human body is made up of mostly water, freezing temps = frozen zombies.

It might suck to walk down to the Qwikimart in the cold, feeling the bite of the wind on my face. But, it's nice to know I won't feel the bite of zombie teeth on my arm because those fuckers are frozen solid.

I've been thinking about zombies lately. This is, sadly, not an unusual occurance. Anyhow, ever since we moved to the downstairs apartment, I've been concerned about defending ourselves against attack. We have 19 windows and 3 doors, and we're on the ground level. Not good.

Presuming that an actual zombie outbreak would follow the Romero model (slow, unthinking zombs), I think I've worked out a good plan. Break down the side entrance. It's about 10 feet off the ground with wooden steps and small landing. That'd give us plenty of wood to barricade the other 2 doors, and leave us with an escape route. Take down the neighbors fence, more wood. Nail and screw said wood over doors and windows from the outside. I have noticed in various movies that boarding up a window or door from the inside works well against small numbers of zombies. Any more than 10, and they'll push in the barricade with brute force alone. Since they can't think and aren't very coordinated, I doubt they could pry boards off the outside of the door.

I was thinking I would have to kill the upstairs neighbors. I don't like them, and I want the second floor as a fall back. Remember, always retreat upwards. Basements are a death trap. We could easily tear down the staircases to the second floor. JM had a good idea. Rather than kill the upstairs neighbors, bind them up and save them to use as bait should we decide to make a run for it.

I like that idea.

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