So, I have my eval at work tomorrow. 5 years I've been toiling away at that place. Putting up with constant shit, dumbasses, lazy, slow motherfuckers. I do love my job... really.
I'm not a big fan of the evaluation process. I have to write little mini essays anytime I give myself a "Performance is outstanding and far exceeds job requirements." Of course, I give myself that grade on everything. Because it's true.
The problem is this: I have to defend my grade while meeting with my boss. Which means I have to watch what I say and play nice. I can't say "Since no one else can be bothered to do their job, let alone do it right, my performance is outstanding. I do my job and I do it right. Since none of the other lazy idiots here ever get fired, or even in trouble, there must not be a lot expected of them. The other person who does my job shops on line all day. Ergo, I must be exceeding my job requirement. Unless my job requirement is to do my work and everyone elses. If that's the case, I'm probably just squeaking by."
I can't tell her that she doesn't understand or even know half of what I do. I can't tell her that I take charge and get stuff done. In fact, when I go to another manager to get some advice, my boss sees it as going over her head, and she gets pissed. I could, and probably should go into more depth on that, but I'm supposed to be writing my eval right now.
In short, I'll spit out some buzzwords, write vague sentences, and listen to her tell me I don't spend enough time training people. Never mind I don't have the time to train people. Never mind the fact that everytime I've tried to train someone, 50 fucking idiots come to me for help.
She'll probably make some comment about me over stepping my boundries. Never mind that while I work in Operations, I answer to people in a number of departments. Forget that I get asked to and am expected to do all sorts of things that are outside the scope of my responsibilities. Forget that I have a good relationship with managers in other departments, and am on committees with them where things get discussed. Never mind that somehow, somewhere along the line, someone other than me decided I should be involved in making policies. I don't have clearly defined boundries, so how am I supposed to know if I'm over stepping them?
Whatever. Just give me my 5% raise. I fucking deserve it. End of story.