Occupy me!

RB pointed out the other day that almost every time I tell a tale of work days past, it's about a job I've never mentioned. So... for the sake of those who must suffer through my stories, here's a tally of the various occupations I've meddled in. I'll try to keep it in chronological order, as best as I can.
1 Paperboy, The Patriot Ledger. My first "official job". I shared the route with my sister. Somehow we usually ended up owing the Ledger money every week.
2 House cleaner, for some messy lady. I'm embarrassed to admit I took the job because I thought "Light house keeping" meant lighthouse keeping. It didn't. I spent Saturdays vacuuming popcorn off of some fat lady's rug.
3 Cashier/bagger/carriage retriever, Star Market I actually had to get my work permit for this job. To this day I can still bag better than most of the idiots working in the grocers.
4 Stockroom clerk, Sears Auto Center. This was a fun job. I mostly set fires and injured myself. Ever pour lighter fluid down an exhaust pipe? It makes a loud "whoop" sound and shoots flames out both ends. Cool!
5 Gas Station Attendant, Gulf. I quit Sears to work here, only to get accused of stealing and fired. Turns out the owner was till tapping.
6 Assistant, Peck Funeral Home My first mortuary gig. I did a few removals, had some really gross experiences, and work visiting hours.
7 Apprentice Funeral Director, Keohane Funeral Homes I worked there while going to funeral school. 2 years, lots of stories not everyone wants to hear.
8 Easter Bunny, South Shore Plaza Enough said.
9 Customer Service Rep, Boston Financial Data Services I was working part time at the funeral home, got this job to pay the bills. Little did I know how much that damn company would dominate my path. And still does.
10 Shop Hand, Atlas Scenic Studios When I lived in Bridgeport, CT. We built sets for Broadway shows and Christmas windows for Macy's. One of my all time favorite jobs.
11 Team member, McDonald's I got hired, put on my uniform and got a tour. 10 minutes into it the manager told me I'd be cleaning grease traps. I went to the bathroom, changed back into street clothes and walked out.
12 Usher/attendant, National Amusement Cinemas Got hired, brought home the tie and vest, never showed up for work that night. Same day as my McD's gig.
13 Cashier, Stop & Shop Hired the same day as the last two. Got my ID, badge and apron. Never showed up for work. But I did get a weekly paycheck for $0.00 for three months.
14 CSR, BFDS History repeats itself. High stress job, lots of kooky people. I liked working there.
15 Clerk, Dean's Video Express Just call me Dante. Or Randall. A small hole in the wall video store that rented mostly hardcore porn. I developed my distaste for people there. Great quitting story.
16 Flunky, HS Wholesale Mineral Specimens The single most unique job I've ever worked, and one of the longest. There are less than 10 people in the world who I know that have shared the experience. Fodder for many a story.
17 CRS, Boston Equiserve Affectionately known as Equifuck. Met my ex-wife there. If there's a bright center of the galaxy, this is the company furthest from it.
18 Slightly higher paid flunky, HS Wholesale Mineral Specimens Yeah, I went crawling back. Albeit to a better job and new position.
19 Temp, Hollister I did day assignments, so I won't try to list those. They all sucked, except for my last one.
20 Coordinator, VNA of Boston Yup. That's where I'm spending my time now. 4 years and counting.
I think that's it, not counting odd jobs and under the table stuff. 20 jobs in 16 years. What have I gained from it? Mostly semi entertaining stories. I guess that'll have to do.