Lapti Nek, fucker!

Best. News. Ever.

Seriously, I am psyched. Like most fanboys, I had concerns Uncle George wouldn't do this for a long time. Now TKJr. can grow up seeing Han shoot first. The way it was meant to be.

In other news: I added eQuake Alert today. Damn, there are a lot of friggin earthquakes!

No news is no news

Not much happening over here worth reporting. Not even much to rant about, since I've been spending most of my time in the house, doing baby related things.

Good news: I'm back on the Netflix wagon. It's a nice change of pace to actualy utilized their service.

KG and I watched "Fear Strikes Out" the other night. Featuring a very young Anthony Perkins. The movie was so-so accounting of the troubled Red Sox player Jimmy Piersall. Probably the closest I've come in a long time to paying any attention to sports history.

Took TKJr to see the Star Wars exhibit at the MOS. He did his Daddy proud by crawling under the railing around the Skywalker landspeeder and attempting to get in it. I sacrificed a great video shot of it in order to retrieve him before security got involved.

Well, off to pick the tyke up from daycare. Y'all be good.

Oh, the Ironing

A couple of weeks ago I signed up for Google's adsense. In theory, you can use your blog to generate some income by having people click on ads placed on your page. Of course, in order for that to work, you need traffic.

I don't get much, save my small band of friends and lonely web surfers looking for animal fuckers.

The main reason I decided to sign up was because the adsense is supposed to scan your posts and place ads based on your blog's content. I thought it might be amusing to see what might show up.

It has indeed been amusing. Now, though, I'm annoyed.

The ad that is currently showing on my blog (as of this posting) is for Thomas the Train Engine toys. Why would this annoy me? As I posted a little while ago, the toys are very expensive. I'm looking for discount prices because I want to get them for my son.

So here, right on my site, is a link. I can't click on it, though, because adsense monitors your ISP when you sign up. If they catch you clicking on your own banner, you get booted.

So, if any of you get bored, go ahead and click on the Thomas ad, and let me know what you find.

Dancing Izzy

Thanks to Molius for the GIF.

My little gal

That's the girl who will someday break my heart. You can check her out here

I stand corrected

So, as it turns out, spending the afternoon walking around the mall was good for getting the baby moving.

At around 1;30 Monday morning, KG shook me awake. She was having contractions every 5 minutes. I got up, put on some coffee and called my Mom. We got to the hospital around 3.

They got KG set up, gave her an epidural. Not long after that, her water broke.

At 8:31AM, Izzy was born. She was 8lbs 2oz, 20" long.

Whew.

You have got to be shitting me

KG and I decided to head down to Kingston today and pop into the Independence Mall. It's a good mall. Has a big ass Target , a Newbury Comics, and it's usually not very crowded. I stumbled across it last year when I did very special troop last year.

Anyhow, we were hoping all the walking around would help expand KG's cervix. So far, nothing note worthy.

TKJr had a pretty good time. We couldn't leave Target without buying a Thomas the Tank Engine toy. He's really into Thomas right now. Target doesn't carry the wooden "railway system", only the die cast. Those don't fit on his tracks so well. He really liked a large Thomas shaped carrier, but again, that was not designed for the wooden "railway system." Whatever. I managed to find a push along Thomas that plays the theme and makes train noises. He was thrilled.

A little further into the mall we came across a store called "Wicked Cool Toys." Indeed, they had some cool shit. They also had the wooden Thomas "railway system." Infact, as we walked through the back of the store, TKJr spied a Thomas table with a whole track set up and a bunch of engines. So we let him play with it.

I wish I could describe the look of happy contentment on his face. As I watched him, I decided to find the Thomas display so I could gauge how much the tracks, playsets and engines cost. I was thinking of replacing his current Brio playsets with the official Thomas ones.

I was in for a nasty surprise. $20 an engine. $15 a car. $50-$100 for the playsets. The fucking table was almost $300! I did some quick math and determined that the set up my son was currently enjoying would cost me the same as 2 sets of stormtrooper armor.

What the flying fuck??? My son deserves to be happy. He deserves to have brightly painted chunks of wood with wheels to push around a track if it so pleases him. But come on... Christ on a cracker. They are toys. Toys!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I am sick and fucking tired of overgrown asshole children who buy "collectable" toys. I have had it out the ass with "Limited Edition" and "retired".

THEY ARE FUCKING TOYS. Toys are for kids. Toys are for playing with.

If people want to collect them and keep them in there friggin boxes, so be it. But when my 2 year old can't have his favorite fucking steam engine because his parents either can't find him or can't afford him, I get pissed.

Stupid fucking DVD-R vs DVD+R

I finally decided to break out the manual for our recordable DVD player tonight. I bought it a while ago with the intent of making DVDs of our home movies. Now that TKJr wants to watch his own home movies every day, I figured it was a good time.

So, I read over the instructions. Hooked everything up in the bedroom, broke out the package of recordable DVDs I bought when I got the player. Cued up a tape.

Invalid disc. What the frig? I look at the instructions. The model I bought only uses DVD+R or DVD+RW. I have a package of 5 DVD-R.

Fuck me sideways. To further piss me off, when I googled "recordable DVD", I found a FAQ page on about.com. Seems most recordable DVD players and all PC DVD burners use the DVD-R. But... there are some recordable DVDs that only use the DVD+R format. And that's what I got.

So, I packed everything up again. Thankfully, tomorrow we're going to the Kingston Mall for a Target run. I'll pick up the right freaking discs then.

Right now, I'm going to shut this sucker down as well, resist the urge to bitch about my wireless issues first, and go fuck my wife. It's not going to be easy or fun. We're trying to trigger contractions so we can have this damn baby already.

Later, gators.

No baby yet

KG is still at 3cm and not happy about it. We should be getting a call today to schedule her for induction. If she doesn't go into labor on her own, or her water doesn't break (neither of which seem likely), we'll be having the baby either Monday or Tuesday. If any of you out there are praying folks, pray for Monday. I don't think the poor girl can take much more.

Me, I'm just tired. I want to sleep for a day or two. That'd be nice.

I just picked up a bottle of the new Coke Blak. It's pretty good. Small bottle. I was hoping for a regular soda with coffee flavor. Whatever. It's not bad, and I have a feeling it'll join Pitch Black as a short lived obsession.

Time for a shit, shower and shave. Y'all be good.

Piggyback this, fucker!

When I bought my wireless router at BestBuy a while back, they wanted to charge me $150 to encrypt it for me. I passed on that offer.

Now, thanks to my IS buds CC and Molius and a helpful MS site, the ass clown who was kicking me off my own network can kiss my encrypted ass. Woohoo for WPA!

So, no new developments on the baby front. KG hasn't popped yet. She had an ultrasound on Monday. We got some really cool face pics of my daughter. Today KG had a non-stress test. Everything looks good. She has another NS test Thursday, and they scheduled yet another for Saturday. She has an ob/gyn appointment on Thursday as well, and we were hoping they would decide to induce her on Friday. The folks today thought they would do it Monday.

Anyway, after much talking with KG about what's left to do before the baby arrives, I've decided to start my LOA on Thursday. I'm only taking 3 weeks, so I've been trying to save it until the baby arrives.

However, one to many dumbasses at work have asked me if she's had he baby yet. I've had my fill.

So, tomorrow will be my last day for a fortnight and a half. I have a feeling I'll be returning to one hell of a cluster fuck. W00t.

It is accomplished

It's Good Friday.
1,973 years ago a bunch of paranoid Jews talked the Romans into nailing a young radical to a cross. So the story goes.

This time of year I always find myself thinking deep thoughts about JC, religion, god, all those good things. I can't escape it. The passion is deeply ingrained in me. I am the son of a preacher man, after all. I spent my formative years heavily involved in the church.

As a young adult I remained involved. Acolyte. Lay reader. Youth group leader. I even considered the priesthood. I've felt the calling, but I was never really sure what to make of that.

I fell away from the church. Ironically enough, it was the intensity of my faith in Christ that drove me away from being a Christian. It's been a long time since I've read the Good Book, but from what I do recall, there's very little in common between what JC preached and what exists today as Christianity. I had a problem with that.

There were a good number of years where I really struggled with my faith. Then my mind opened to new perspectives. That allowed me to gain an understanding of faith, of JC, of mythology, of life.

It doesn't really matter if Jesus was divine. It doesn't even matter if he was real. What does matter is it's a good story. A good example to live by.

Faith doesn't have to be blind.

This year, once again, I meditate, mull, ponder and bullshit about matters of faith. I may not go to church on Easter, but I think god would be pleased that I'm thinking. I have a personal relationship with what passes for faith with me. I don't mindlessly recite text while dressed in a suit. But, I am conversing with, at the very least, myself.

I'm 33 this year. That gives me some pause. Jesus and I are the same age. I have a hard time imagining myself in his shoes. Then again, I'm not the son of god. Still, me... hanging on a cross to save the people I see every day?

I'll say this: Jesus, I don't know if you were the son of god or not. You might have been the messiah, you might have been a mere man. Either way, you were the fucking bomb. To believe enough to die for the fuckers on this planet called people, that's something else.

I salute you, dude.

Stop me if you've heard this one

Jesus and Muhammad walk into a talent agent's office. Jesus says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."

Muhammad says, "But, this is really special."

The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?".........

South Park tonight was brilliant. Great job, Matt & Trey. I fucking love you guys. Seriously.

Say it ain't so

Yeah, Bickford's Braintree has shuttered it's doors and slipped silently into the night.

I drive by the damn thing every day and was totally unaware until my mother mentioned as we drove back from ikea last night. I feel like I've lost a friend.

True, the place has spirled away from what I remember most fondly. First, they changed the interior from 70's orange vinyl and dark wood paneling to a fancier green and white. That was years ago. Then Braintree went no smoking. I always loved the Big B because the smoking section was the man part. The non-smokers were confined to a small space way in the back.

A few years ago they became Bickford's Grille. I stopped going, as it was putting on airs and was too far gone from what it was for my taste. But it was still there.

Now, the windows are dark, the seats are empty. There is a For Sale sign on the door. Anyone want to buy it with me? Eh?

So many nights spent drinking cup after cup of coffee, smoking butt after butt and talking about everything and nothing at all. Mycalls and I became best buddies there. As did Dude and I.

No matter where I was living, no matter what I was doing, who I was fucking, Bickford's was a homebase. A place to reconnect.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not that important. There are other places to meet. But it's been a personal landmark for a large part of my life, and I am grieved by it's loss.

I have my momentos. A coffee cup, postcards, the old school "Late Night Menu", the regular menu. There are pictures. And memories. Many, many memories.

Guess I get around

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

I can't really figure out how, if I've been to 25 states, it comes out to 49%. Further proof that Rhode Island is not really a state.

Dust in the Wind

Bickford's is gone.

You rearrange me til I'm sane

Holy shit.

I just finished listening to Dark Side of the Moon in Quad, man. It's late, so I'll redirect you to Molius for the details.

Suffice to say I am blown away. I wish I could have cranked it a little louder, but I didn't get started until almost 11PM, so I had to mantain a reasonable volume.

I'm going to need to hear that again. And again. And again.

Oh, and thanks for the short cut, Mole. It's a thing of beauty. Now to figure out those chords...

Fucked

KG and I received a nice surprise kick in the figurative balls today.
She went to pick TKJr. up from daycare and had (more or less) the following conversation with our daycare provider:

Daycare: You stay home after baby born?
KG: For a few weeks, yeah. Then I have to go back to work.
Daycare: Who watch new baby?
KG: Stunned silence. Um.... what do you mean?
Daycare: I have no openings.

Apparently, it never occured to this woman that we might want to have both our children in the same daycare. Or maybe she thought my company was going to double my salary as a reward for adding to the overpopulation of the planet. Neither KG or I thought to ask her about, as we (wrongly) presumed it was a given.
The result, the dumb bitch didn't leave an opening. She told KG that one of the other kids there has a new sister on a waiting list.

Not only is this news to us, it's news to us TWELVE FUCKING DAYS BEFORE OUR BABY IS DUE!!

So, KG is in an evil, inconsolable mood. We're in serious trouble. Obviously we can't afford for her not to work. If we could afford that, she wouldn't be working now. She doesn't slave away at BifDis for the fun of it.

We're not going to be able to find daycare, let alone reliable daycare in 12 weeks. The reason we ended up with our current daycare provider for TKJr. is because every other place had a six month waiting list. Not to mention every other place costs twice as much.

Neither of us has a friggin clue as to what we're going to do. We're screwed. Seriously. Fucked. Buggered.

Our daycare provider has been a blessing in many ways. Affordable, and TKJr. has been very happy and well loved there. He's learned to speak Cantonese. She has been a reliable, trustworthy caretaker.

She's out of openings? Well, there will be one before too long. We're not going to send our children to different daycares. That's lame.

What are we going to do? I have no god damn idea.

Ode to a boob

Ah, the female breast. One of my favorite creations. Call them boobs, tits, melons, fun bags, whatever... I'm a fan.

They are fun to hold, fun to squeeze. Fun to look at, fun to lick. Put simply, the breast is the best.

Tonight, I'm thinking about DC's boob. As much as I enjoy thinking about mammaries, I wish I didn't have her's on my mind. Not that she doesn't have nice ones. In fact, they're pretty perky at 42. Not bad at all.

No, the reason I wish I wasn't thinking about her tit is because she's having a needle biopsy tomorrow. Her doctor found a spot during her last mammogram. That ugly C world looms it's head, and I'm not talking about "cunt." Cancer.

Of course, at this point, nothing is certain. It could be nothing, it could be benign. But the time that passes between something being noticed or brought to your attention and the getting a diagnosis is nerve wracking. Scary. Especially when you're talking about cancer.

Being such a big fan of the breast, the idea of breast cancer is particularly disturbing to me. I can't imagine what that must be like. Yes, a woman is more than the sum of her body parts. It would be wrong, though, to ignore the importance, symbolic and otherwise, of the breast. Men don't really have a comparable situation. Sure, prostate cancer is the big concern for men. Testicular cancer is pretty scary as well. Those are both internal problems though. Neither the prostate or the nuts have the external profile that the breast does.

Not to mention, the idea of any part of your body turning on you kind of freaks me out.

Anyway, enough. My point here being I'm thinking about DC's titty, and hoping all is well with it. It's a good breast, a fine breast. As previously stated, it's damn good looking for it's age. I sincerly hope all is well with it. All is healthy with it.

Be good, boob. Stay healthy.

I should add my thoughts are with DC as well. I'm not a praying man, but occasionally I do have a one sided conversation with g-o-d when I'm on the porch having a smoke. So tonight we'll discuss boobies and friends. I'll be asking that He take a little time to look down on my lunch buddy and make sure she's OK.

Lastly, let me say it now so it doesn't become an issue later. I'm not wearing the ribbon.

RIP Chef?

Wow. What an episode. I laughed, I cried, I spit beer in my wife's face.

I can't get on the South Park Studios site right now, so I can't confirm if it's all true or just a big farce. Either way, it was a brilliant episode.

"Super Adventure Club." I love it.

Now I am the master

TKJr is officialy obsessed. We watched ANH, let's see... 6 times this weekend. He's already started memorizing lines.

While playing with a 3P0 figure "Oh look, a transport. Over here! Over here!"

That's my favorite so far. I bought him the Vader voice changer helmet today. Also got him a new pair of R2 sneakers, as he outgrew his other ones.

I think I've created a monster. Or at the very least, a mini me.

Other weekend highlights: Went rug shopping on Saturday. Didn't buy, just looked. Lowe's seems to be the best price.
Laundry today. Not too crowded. That was nice. Planning on hitting IKEA next weekend for a new couch and some furniture for Jr.
Bed soon, work tomorrow.

Pogue Mahone, y'all.

Yup, kiss my ass. Seriously.

Oh, and happy wearing of the green to all the Irish out there. I'll be sucking down a pint or two of stout in your honor.

Pogue Mahone, y'all.

That's right. Happy wearing of the green.

And kiss my ass. Seriously.

Sympathetic Syncope?

Strange day today.

I'm on my second day of not smoking. I had 2 butts total today. One this morning around 10 and the other around 2:45 in the afternoon.

This afternoon, prior to having a smoke, I was in one of the clinical managers' office having a discussion. Suddenly I felt kind of dizzy. Weird, but since I was talking to a soul sucker, I figured it was just the draining effect of her personality working on me.

Well, some time went by, and as I sat quietly at my desk I kept having dizzy spells. Mind you, I was seated and resting. So, I decided to have someone take my blood pressure.

First reading : 122/90. Not good. Hypertensive. I was a tad concerned. Mostly because it was late afternoon, so the Adderol was wearing off, I hadn't had a coffee since lunch, and I wasn't smoking. Those were all the things I could think of that tend to raise your blood pressure.

The girl that gave me the reading suggested I get another one before leaving work. She was concerned about me driving home. I didn't think the situation was that bad, but hey... she's a nurse, I'm not.

Anyway, I sat down with her as I was leaving. This time: 140/90. She was upset. Made me promise to call her when I got home.

I got to the car, called my wife. Typical KG, she was an asshole about it.

Me: Had a bit of a scare just now. Got my bp read, I'm hypertensive.
KG: Why did you get your blood pressure read?
Me: I was having dizzy spells! Besides, I'm supposed to monitor it.
KG: That's great. I have high blood pressure, and now you do too. You should rest. I'll take care of everything tonight...
Me: bye.

I hung up on her. She's 8 months pregnant, so i can't bitch too much. But... did it ever cross her mind that maybe the fact that her bp is high and she might be confined to bed rest for the remainder of her term MIGHT HAVE A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON MY STRESS LEVEL??? Hey, she's carrying a baby, and fucked up shit happens to your body. High blood pressure is a normal potential risk. Me, I'm 33 and a male. High blood pressure like that is unusual and potentially serious. On top of it all, I wasn't really that woried about it. I was just calling to share the information and have a chuckle over how worried the ladies I work with get about such things.

Some days, I really wish I was fucking gay. At least I'd ne able to understand the people I'm attracted to.

Breaking up is hard to do

You've been my constant companion for 14 years now.

Right there with me through every shitstorm and every sunny day. You sustained me, inspired me, distracted me and detracted from me.

Yes. For all you've given, you have also taken. Taken years off my life. Taken money from my pocket. Stolen hours from my family and friends.

511,000 minutes, give or take. Stolen time I will never get back. The toll you have had on my life, that remains to be seen.

But I love you none the less. I am devoted to you. I am still seduced by you. I am addicted to you.

Now I need what you take from me. I don't have it to offer anymore, as I owe it to others. I need to be here with them, not with you.

Today I erased your memory from my car. The place we have spent so many hours. Alone with our music and our thoughts.

Tonight we dance one last time. Tomorrow, I remove you from my life. I remove you from my person. I cleanse your presence from me.

But I will not escape your grasp. I love you still. So much. I will long for you. I will ache for you. Because I am weak.

However, I will resist, for I need to be strong. My son, he believes me to be strong. To be right. To be in control. For him I must be.

I'll always love you. I'll always want you. I know you will always be waiting, arms open, to take me back.

Good-bye, nicotine. Please understand. It's not you. It's me.

I'll call you sometime.

People fucking stuffed animals

A rough week at work came to an end today, finding me sitting at my desk, bored and banging around the net. I actually have tons of work I have to do, but it has to wait until Monday so we can close out last month with no errors.

We got bonuses at work today. That was a nice treat. Almost an extra paycheck. I think I might be spending mine on a new sofa.

KG had a check up at the OB today. Good news: The doctor is pretty sure the baby has flipped and is no longer in the breech position.

Bad news: KG was slightly hypertensive and is being tested for preeclampsia. From what we've read this evening, most likely she doesn't have it, as she's not in any of the high risk groups. Plus, it seems like worst case scenario she'd be ordered to bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy. That, however, poses a big finanical problem.

She has a follow up with the OB tomorrow, so we're both keeping our fingers crossed until then.

On a lighter note, I lifted this link because, well... who doesn't enjoy watching animated boobies jiggle?

meme!

Because I'm bored and it's too late to start anything else:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Thomas' Railway Word Book "Heat from the firebox turns water into steam."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
I just cracked my hand into the wall.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Thomas the Tank Engine

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11:15

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
11:05

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The humidifier in my kids room (on the monitor) and the furnace. And my wife watching The Ben Stiller Show in the bedroom.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
8:30, for a smoke.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
ella's latest entry.

9. What are you wearing?
This:
Black sweatpants, a maroon long sleeve T and a gray T that says "WXLZ", black Nikes. I was painting today, OK?

10. Did you dream last night?
I dreamed I was sleeping.

11. When did you last laugh?
A few hours ago when I put my son to bed.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Pictures of my kid, pictures of my wife as a kid, a glamour shot potrait of me in my stormtrooper armor, a framed print of some cat painting.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
My sister stopped by for a visit.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's entertaining me.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Some Aussie flick that was on IFC late last night.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A really big house, and some biker scout armor.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have a tattoo of Kokopelli on my left arm.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'd kill my upstairs neighbors. Petty, but true.

19. Do you like to dance?
Depends on the amount of alcohol.

20. George Bush:
Fucking twit.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Nicola.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
He is.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
New Zealand, in a heartbeat.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Umm, sorry about that.

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in THEIR journal:
Well, I stole this. So, if you've just read it, you'd better do it too.

Fuck the police

I live on a quiet side street. It's right off of one of the main roads here in good old Weymouth. Every day I drive to the bottom of the street and take a right. I'm pretty familiar with the intersection, and I can safely judge how fast approaching traffic is going and whether or not I have the space and time to pull out.

Yesterday morning I approached the intersection, and looked to the left to see if anyone was coming. About a block away was a cop car. I had plenty of time to pull out, and I did.

Within a few minutes, I realized the cop was riding my rear bumper. I took my usual left, the cop followed. I drove another quarter mile with him on my ass. Then the lights statred flashing.

I pulled over wondering what the hell I might have done. The cop got out and walked up to me.

Cop: When you pull out of my street and you see me coming, what do you do?

Me: Um, I guess I should stop?

Cop: You can't just come tearing out of that street. Do you live on that street?

Me: Yes.

Cop: Well watch it next time.

Me: Yes, sir. I eyeballed you coming, and I felt I had plenty of time.

Cop: Well, don't do it again.

I was a little pissed, but I'm smart enough not to push it with the fuzz. First off, I didn't "tear" out. I stopped, looked, turned. The only way he could have come up on me so fast was if he was driving in excess of the 30 mph speed limit.

He didn't give me a ticket, so I was glad of that. Not that I did anything to merit one. I'm guessing he might live on my street. If so, he's probably aware of how fast people bomb up and down it. On any given morning I flip someone the bird as my wife attempts to pull out and they come flying by. But me, I was not speeding.

I put it out of my mind. Then, this morning as I'm standing beside my wife's car, we both notice an unmarked patrol car drive by and park 2 houses up. We exchanged raised eyebrows. She got in her car, I waved good bye to her and my son and she drove off. I noticed the cruiser turn around and park on the opposite side of the street 2 houses up. facing the same direction I would be driving.

I got in my car and backed out. I drove down to the intersection. I had to stop and wait as there were cars in front of me. I pulled into the corner qwiki mart and bought a pack of smokes. Came out, got in my car, took the same left I did yesterday. I look in my rear view, there's the frigging cruiser, right behind me. The son of a bitch followed me all the way to the highway. It was the same cop from yesterday.

Fucking A. This guy now has a bug up his ass over me. And I did not do ANYTHING wrong. I didn't give him any shit. I'll tell you this much, if he decides to follow me tomorrow, I'm either going to pull over and have words with him, or I'm calling the station and making a complaint about harrasment.

A Volcano, for Christ sake!

OK, maybe it's a tad pointless to rant about something that happened 26 years ago. Be that as it may...
I'm watching (or more accurately just finished watching) Seconds from Disaster. Tonight's episode is about the eruption of Mt Saint Helens in 1980. One of the survivors is some guy who was camping with his friend not too far from, um... an active volcano.
So, the volcano erupted, he got horribly burned but managed to survive. Lucky bastard. 57 other people weren't so lucky.
Anyway, it's 26 years later. The narrator is talking about the science that goes into predicting volcanic eruptions. There's a lot of information here I don't feel like going into.
The point I'm getting at is this guy that survived, he's actually pissed off that the scientists at the time didn't do a better job of predicting how the mountain would explode, and as a result didn't properly warn him.
Some one correct me if I'm wrong, but the friggin thing didn't just up and explode out of nowhere.

Listen pal, you were camping in the vicinity of an active volcano. V-O-L-C-A-N-O. Mountain full of fire and smoke. People knew it was going to go off. You were stupid enough to put yourself in harm's way. You survived. Fucking get over it.

That's all. Now the same show is covering the crash of TWA Flight 800. I'm going to watch that.

All we are are Hanes in the wind

KG and I are going through some pretty serious housecleaning. Making room for the new arrival in April.

Tonight I found a pile of old T shirts on the bed. Shirts KG was planning on giving to Goodwill.

I personally can't bear to part with most of my old T shirts. They are very much like photos or postcards. Each one is a snapshot of some point in my life. As a result, I have well over 100 T shirts. Most of which I never wear. I managed to tlak KG into keeping most of them. I felt the pain of their loss even if she didn't.

They had all come out of a box that had been in the spare room. In tribute to the Ts that almost found there way in to the thrift store system, here they are:

White Houston Shakespeare Festival 1990. Had a portrait of the Bard done in a collage.

Gray T with John Tenniel's "Illustration of Alice" on the front.

Black that read "Behind every great woman is a great women's college. Smith 1994". She doesn't know it, but I actually took this one to wear myself.

Gray Delekta Pharmacy shirt with a drawing on the back of a soda fountain reading "Home of the World's 'Most Delektable' Coffee Cabinet.

White Simpons family portrait circa 1989.

Black with red lips reading "Spoken Word 729 HOPE Providence."

White Trinity College.

White with RI Rhode Island logo

White with graphic of the globe being held in a hand, reads "The Whole Tribe."

White PBS Mystery! logo with Edward Gorey drawing.

White Simpsons 2 sided family pic with Sebadoh logo superimposed on it. The story I hear is that on one tour Sebadoh used second hand Ts for all their tour shirts.

White 2 sided Animaniacs logo.

Gray Oxford Crew with crossed oars. Purchased while KG attended Oxford.

White Smith College Alumnae.

Gray Mickey Mouse graphic.

The college shirts I told her she couldn't get rid of. No one else should be able to wear them, and it's the only proof that she did go.

Still in the box was a black Club Babyhead T, along with a black Touisset Point Country Club shirt. And a Kbco Polarized Lenses shirt.

I had planned, back before my digital camera broke, to take a picture of both KG and myself wearing every single one of our T shirts. There are quite a few I could part with if I had a picture. It's more the memory the shirt evokes than the shirt itself.

I'll put it on the to do list.

A New Hope

After Episode 3 came out, I made a decision that I would introduce my son to Star Wars with Episode 1, and work forward. Not because that's the way George wants them to be viewed, but because I wanted to see what TKJr's perspective on SW would be having watched them in that order.

Well, I kinda screwed that up tonight. He's a big Darth Vader fan. He calls him "Dark Side". Tonight he was wearing my Vader mask and running around the house doing the deep breathing sounds. He loves R2D2. Goes nuts everytime he sees him. He likes C3P0 as well. Whenever he hears the commercial for the MOS exhibit on the radio, he starts singing the theme song. And of course... everytime he sees a stormtrooper he calls him "Daddy." So, with this in mind, I decided to put on Episode IV tonight. I figured the first 5 minutes of the movie has Vader, stormtroopers, R2 and 3P0. You can't beat that.

From the second the opening crawl began, TKJr sat on the floor, transfixed. His eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open. He stayed that way until the jawas got to the Lar's homestead. Then his interest began to wane.

I may sound like a dork, I know. But seriously, my eyes welled with tears watching my little boy mesmerized by what he was watching. He's only 2, but the magic worked. It was like reliving it myself.

Damn, being a father has got to be the best fucking thing in the world. Seriously.

Shit, it's been a week!

And yet I still have nothing relevant to say.

Nothing.

Closed because of storne

I walked down to the local Qwiki Mart at the height of the storm yesterday, hoping to buy a pack of smokes.

I wasn't surprised that the store was closed, what with a blizzard and shit. But closed because of storne?

I'm afraid of what a storne might be. I'll be keeping my eye out.

So, we ended up with, I'm guessing, about 16 inched here. Light, powdery snow. Not too bad. Got a sick toddler on top of that, so it's fun, fun, fun over here. Oh well, I guess every day can't be all shits and giggles.

meme!

Found this fun meme over on Love and Other Drugs

Here are the rules:

Grab the nearest book
Open the book to page 123
Find the fifth sentence
Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5,6,7) on your blog, along with these instructions.
Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! Just grab what is closest. No cheating.

The closest book to my computer is actually "Guess How Much I Love You." But, children's books don't have 123 pages. So, a blind reach into the bookcase results in "The Master Magicians: Their Lives and Most Famous Tricks" by Walter Gibson. My sentences are:

He decided to make up for it with another grand tour, this time including Europe on his route. In December, 1904, Ching Ling Foo arrived in London with a company of Chinese jugglers, contortionists and acrobats. His troupe opened as the headline attraction at the Empire Theater.

Thanks, Mycalls. That was entertaining.

Happy, happy birthday to me...

Birthday Boy by The Residents

Bulging eyes abound about
The birthday boy today;
Screaming, "Creaming eyes!"
Screamed he,
His mother looked away.
"Creaming eyes explode upon
An apple pirate toad
And if an injun ate a plate
I'd laugh and live abode."
Nervousness itself was shifting
Guests against the door,
"Forgive us dear, but, uh, baking beer
It what we should be near."
"Bye," the bothered birthday boy said,
"Bye," the bothered birthday boy said,
"Bye or sell or bye,
Bye or sell or bye."
"Happy, happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me he-he-hee,
Happy birthday to me...

Hatred is human and hatred is here

In response to Mycalls comment... it appears that the admins at myspace have taken it upon themselves to remove Jacob's profile and replace it with the following diatribe:

"While the mainstream media is busy covering this tragic yet insignificant story, important things are going on in the world. The sad irony of the supposed “information age” is a noticeable absence of actual news from America’s most popular media outlets. House fires, car accidents, kidnappings—while all certainly important to the few people they immediately concern—are completely irrelevant to the human race as a whole, yet these such stories dominate the headlines. This is said to exclude stories of celebrity lifestyles, "human interest", and sports, all of which have positively no value to civic life. This standard of journalistic irresponsibility works in direct contrast with democracy, as citizens of America—a nation heralded as a supposed bastion of democracy—remain the most ill-informed citizens in the developed world. For example, a majority of Americans continue to believe that Saddam Hussein was directly responsible for the 11 September attacks, but know for certain that Lindsey Lohan has struggle with an eating disorder.

As such stories grip American audiences, the current administration in the White House is setting a course for American the democracy that could very well see it to its finish, much in the vein of Roman democracy’s defeat beneath the boot of militaristic dictatorship. At this crossroad of history, we find America much more concerned with stories which will never amount to as much as a sentence in any history book. Fascism, the face of which has begun to emerge in America, thrives on ignorance of this sort, relying upon a population sedated by inconsequential matters and willingly ignorant of issues central to the survival of their community and species.

Shame on the American media, and shame on the American public. You have shunned the gift of knowledge afforded to us by thousands of years of human progress, and have chosen rather the bliss of ignorance. The price could prove to be the freedom of the greatest democracy of all time."

I have no hard facts to confirm my theory, but judging by FOX's bombastic coverage and the fact that they were apparently using his myspace profile for most of their information, I'm guessing they prompted the removal.

Oh well. It was all sound and fury anyway. As for what has replaced it... I have no retort. I don't disagree.

He didn't like Mondays

So, Jacob Robida dies from multiple gunshot wounds to the head. But not before 2 other people lost their life.

I'm sure the media, the pundits and wags and armchair philosophers the world over will be debating what caused this 18 year old to suddenly burn up in an orgy of violence.

There must be a reason. There has to be a reason. Or, as Bob Geldof once said:

"What reason do you need to die?"

Take a look at the boy's myspace profile and judge for yourself.

And another thing...

We're back to the occasional odd google search.

Put in "fuck jcaho" and this site comes up at #6. Probably be #1 now.

Strange this to google, so thinks me.

TK8103: Party Animal

Yup, that's me getting down with the toddler set. The birthday boy is on the right, and that's TKJr and KG on the floor to my left.
Looks like I had something funky going on with my shoulder bells.

Note to self...

Never, ever borrow someone else's video-game controller. Ever.

Kung hei fat choi

The year of the dog begins. Ever since TKJr started going to a Cantonese daycare, we've adopted Chinese New Year as a holiday in our household. The last 2 fell on a week day, so KG and I actually got to take a day off from work. But, just like our own holidays this year, it fell on a weekend.
We did observe the new tradition, though. TKJr went out for the day, and KG and I spent the entire day cleaning. The apartment looks nice. I went to the big K for storage bins tonight, so I'll resume packing up the spare room tomorrow.

I spent the better part of last week being more or less sick. I seem to be over the worst of it, but have developed a tickle in my throat which is making me cough like crazy. Nice.

But... on a positive note, I picked up my first box of Commit today. I've tried the patch. That worked for a while, but didn't help break the habit. I figure I have a better shot with the lozenge. My plan is to start off alternating between butts and lozenges, slowly working my way to all lozenge. Then cut down and quit from there.

I've enjoyed being a smoker. It has become a big part of my life. But enough is enough, and I'm ready to give it up. Not entirely happy mind you, but ready none the less. I would like to be one of those people that keep a pack in a tin in the garage, only indulging on rare occasions. So far, that has not been the case. I'm a pack and a half a day or nothing. So now I'm shooting for nothing.

Nesting

Expecting father's go through it to. I suppose it has to something to do with the genetic make up of men. Fixing things, assembling furniture, building... it's something simple and concrete. I'm no exception.

2 bookcases assembled and in place. 22 decorative storage boxes for media assembled and in place. 1 huge ugly bookcase, a busted up cd rack and a very ugly video cabinet empty and ready to go out the door.

Not too shabby. Of course, the litter boxes need to be cleaned, the spare room is far from empty and the rug needs vacuuming. I'm getting there. Slowly.

What's Up With that?

This is the second time it has happened, so I thought it worth commenting.

Today was one of those messy, wintery New England days. Freezing temps overnight, we wake up to snow. The storm had been forcast. Firefox was giving me severe weather alerts last night. So, I get up this morning, clean the cars off, and prepare for a long, painful commute.

Getting out of Weymouth was bad. The back roads were slick, and cars were all over the place. Slow going. I hit the highway, and.... nothing. Almost no cars on the road. I had no traffic at all until I hit the South Bay Center! My ride home... record time, little over 30 minutes!

Last time a big storm was forecast (which we never got), there was no traffic. I had a great ride in.

So my question is this: All you people who could afford to stay home today because the weather might be bad: Maybe you should take some time to re-examine your priorities? I don't know about anyone else, but snow or no snow, I had to be at work today. If you have a job where you can not go in because the weather is shitty, maybe you shouldn't go in at all. How about staying home on the nice days so those of us slobs who have to drive to our jobs can do so. I can see no logical reason at all for a 25 mile commute to take 60-90 minutes every friggin day. Then, when we get a snow storm, I'm at work in 40 minutes. That's with bad driving conditions.

Seriously. Stay the fuck home. Find another way into work. Do every day what you did today. And let me go where I need to go in a reasonable amount of time.

Thank you. That is all.

I hate the mat

Pretty uneventful weekend here at la casa de Schultz. TKJr spent the weekend at my mother-in-laws. I spent most of Saturday clearing out the spare, soon to be baby's, room. Still a long way from being done, but I threw out a lot of shit and packed many a rubbermaid box. I'll need to go buy some more containers so I can get back at it this weekend.

KG and I went to dinner and rented 40 Year Old Virgin. Pretty funny, I enjoyed it. Today I spent the day at the laundromat. I hate doing laundry on Sundays, as the place is always packed. Saturdays are better, but I had other things going on. Besides, I thought I wouldn't need to go today.

We have a laundry room in our apartment. It has a hook up for a washing machine. It also has a 220 line for a dryer, and a vent hose already connected. We have a washer in the basement, but no dryer. We had been planning on buying one, since KG doesn't like me spending 3 hours out of the house on the weekend cleaning clothes. She has accused me of enjoying it, but I really don't.

So, we stopped at a local dealer to check out dryers. The prices were good, and I anticipated purchasing one and having it delivered this weekend. No more mat! A salesman comes over, and starts asking questions.

Out of nowhere, KG pulls this shit about not wanting the dryer upstairs, in our freaking apartment. Currently the laundry room houses 3 litter boxes. As I try to patiently explain to my suddenly illogical wife that the only 220 line in the basement is on the upstairs neighbors electricity and that there is no vent, she starts giving me this shit about not wanting it upstairs, and that I never told her any of this.

I did...a number of times over the past 4 months.

So, I calmly said, "Fine, we're not buying a dryer. Let's go."

She's been rather irrational about the whole thing. She refuses to believe I ever said anything to her about not being able to put it in the basment (I did.) She insists I never said anything about putting it inside our apartment (where it belongs, and I did.) She states she doesn't want to take one of the litter boxes out of the laundry room (although putting one somewhere else in the apartment would help stop one of the cats from pissing everywhere.) She says she doesn't want to dry our clothes in the same room as the litter boxes.

I can't win this one. I love KG very, very much. I honestly do. But seriously... fuck her. I spent $15 and 3+ hours today when I could have been home, doing small, manageable loads and getting other things done around the house.

Whatever. Tomorrow night, I'm going to IKEA to buy some new bookshelves and boxes for all our CDs. I'm looking forward to that.

The number on the engine was 44

I really love it when management gets a bug up the ass over something. Some companies have an easy button. All we have is a panic button.

Every few days I take a peek at a little report called Data Export . There are 14 different error reports in there, and I am responsible for resolving 2 of them. That's what I've been doing all along.

Well, a new year has started, and apparently the big thing at the moment is to drop all our RAPs for 2005. I don't even know what the fuck a RAP is. Well... not entirely true. Basically, Medicare pays us half up front, and the other half when a patient is discharged. So, to get the RAP to drop, the patient has to be properly discharged.

The other 12 reports are the responsibility of other departments. Not today. Suddenly it's my fucking problem.

The worst part... I can't actually fix anything. All I can do is annoy people by emailing them and telling them what to do. That's what I did. All day. After wasting a whole day and not catching up with my work, I had managed to look at and comment on 30 some patients. Didn't get to do my real work. In the end, I was told management really only wanted to know what was going on, and if anything could be done. What?? I spent my whole day on this! And where were they when I finished? Having a meeting with a catered meal.

Fuck all y'all. Seriously.

But hey, that's what they pay me for.

I wasn't discounted!

Harking back to my days at Equifuck... we had a customer service initiative going on. One of the points they tried to drive into our heads was "don't discount the customer." The analogy was pretty much : treat the customer like shit and you're putting him on the 99 cent rack. I don't know why that stuck with me. But it did.

Anyhow... I had a total of 4 customer service interactions today. As of late, I've really developed a loathing when it comes to shopping. Stupid, poorly trained and slow witted clerks. Apathetic sales people. Understocked, understaffed and overcrowded.

First off was the redemption center. I loaded my car with 580 empty beer and soda bottles. Any time I have to redeem bottles I go to Quincy. The place there, you pile your bottles on the counter, they count them and pay you. No cleaning, sorting or clear bags needed. Today was pleasant, as usual.

Next off was a trip to the most vile of department stores. Fucking Wal*Mart. How I hate fucking Wal*Mart. I bought a Sharpie, some AA batteries, trash bags, and a cool mist humidifier for TKJr. I decided to buy an extra filter, since that usually ends up being a problem later on down the line. So there I am, in the humidifier aisle, vainly searching for extra filters. An associate hurries by me, I pay him no mind. Suddenly, the guy stops, asks if he can help me, and then walks me 2 aisles over to where all the filters are. He finds the right one for the model I have in hand, looked to see if there were anymore, then showed me a spot on the top shelf where he stashed back ups. He instructed me to ask for him in the future if I was in the store seeking a replacement filter.

I was flabbergasted. It was like the Wal*Mart of lore... friendly, helpful service! But it didn't stop there. The cashier was friendly and conversational without being annoying. She was quick. She offered me a large bag for the humidifier. After I was rung up, she held my bag while I picked up the humidifier, then handed me the bag with a smile. Damn!

Next was Dunkins, drive thru. Nothing special, but still pleasant. After that I popped into Building #19 to look for tuxes. No go, so I didn't actually transact while I was there. That said, as I walked toward the exit, I caught a whiff of the worst shit stink death fart I've ever run across. It made my eyes water. Guess I'll have to go to the Garmet District for my monkey suit.

At this point, I was so taken back by my overly pleasant shopping experiences (shit smell aside) that I was contemplating quitting my job so I could shop during the day more often. In hopes of regrounding myself, I darted over to the McDonald's drive thru for a quick lunch. The McD's in Weymouth sucks, and is almost always a painful experience. I was certain that would end this run of happy shiny customer service.

Well, nothing to write home about. No one offered to blow me or anything, but it was quick and I got what I ordered. So I went home.

And that was my day.

Pasties and a G String

TKJr managed to catch himself a cold. He had a fever of 102.2 tonight and a runny nose. It's 11:18PM and he's already woken up 3 times.

I had been considering a mental health day tomorrow. At the moment, it looks like it may be a Mr. Mom day instead. Oh well.

I should probably go hit the sack now. That'd be the wise thing to do. But I haven't trolled eBay yet today...

Follow Up

So... in spite of management's decision to postpone closing, I closed. That was my goal, and I achieved it. As usual.

I trooped at a birthday party for a 2 year old today. He was very happy to see a real live "pooper" (stormtrooper). It was fun. TKJr and KG tagged along, so it was fun for the whole family.

I just switched out the dvd player in the living room with he one in the bedroom. The older one in the bedroom doesn't have issues with the interactive games on the Thomas and Friends dvd. So, hopefully there won't be anymore "Come on, damn it" coming from my 2 year old. That said, while sitting on the toilet last night he did say "God damn it, Moe!" Funny thing is, Moe wasn't anywhere near us!

Close this

So, it's been a stressful week here at work. Both JCAHO and DPH showed up to do audits. The net result of this has been management running around in a state of near panic. Top that off with the fact that it's closing this week, and you've got no fun.

I have been, as usual, busting my hump to get us closed. I'm down to 9 patients. SW has 127 still. I have heard from a number of people now that closing has been postponed. No one has formally told me.

Why, I ask? I suspect it has been intentional. To keep me working on it.

Fuck all y'all. That's all I'm saying on that subject.

On the lighter side, I'm trooping at a birthday party this weekend. One lone TK and a bunch of toddlers. Should be fun!

Fred's Chair

I never dared to call him Fred when he was alive. Not to his face, anyway. It was always Grampa.

It's been, what..., 13 years since he died? I still miss him.

After all this time, my grandmother is finally getting new furniture for her living room. She had decided to part with my grandfather's beloved easy chair. We affectionally called it the "Archie Bunker Chair." Not because Grampa was an Archie, but because no one sat in his chair. It was his throne.

Tonight, it has come to rest in my living room. I'm sitting in it now as I blog. Grampa's chair becomes Daddy's chair. My ass has found a new home.

Gimmee that ole time religion

I'm not an overly religious guy. Not by any means.

Be that as it may, my entire personal history is deeply infused and emeshed in Christianity. I'm the son of a preacher man. I had no choice in the matter.

These days, I hold to an anuual tradition. Every Easter, I sit down and give Jesus Christ Superstar a good, hard listen. It's my way of observing. I try to make a point of listening to it on Good Friday if at all possible.

Well, I'm adding something to the list, starting this year. Now I'll also be watching Wormwood .

Cuz the Good Book is full of stories. And some of them are real wacky.

Whitey's Lament

French fried french fries
Acorns popcorn
French fried french fries
Acorns popcorn
French fried french fries
Acorns popcorn
Acorns popcorn shit.
Acorns popcorn shit.

Not so common on the Common
to see a squirrel of white.
Today I gave a nurse named Whalen
a creeping kind of fright.

French fried french fries
Acorns popcorn
French fried french fries
Acorns popcorn
French fried french fries
Acorns popcorn
Acorns popcorn shit.
Acorns popcorn shit.

Sugar melts and goes away...

Plane crashes are something else. I'm watching Seconds from Disaster . Tonight's episode is about the Concord crash. So, you need a wheel to blow out, a piece of rubber to strike the landing wheel bay. Sever a cable, which causes sparks. Add the fact that there happens to be a fuel leak. Presto... plane goes boom!
I watched the one on TWA flight 800 last week. Simply mind boggling the string of coincidence involved in bringing that sucker down. Amazing.
Cat crashes, on the other hand, are a simpler affair. Sneak up behind two snoozing cats and shout. Watch them slam right into each other as they run like hell.
I meant to write car crashes, but cat crashes looks funny. Anyway, car crashes. All you need for one of those is an asshole, and we got those aplenty!

Let’s talk about my sister. She goes by the name of JeeBee. We’ll refer to her as JB for the sake of ease.

JB is a couple of years younger than me. 2, to be exact. Unfortunately for her, like most younger siblings she looked to her elder sibling for guidance and wisdom. That’d be me. Affectionately known as Christoff. TK8103 to my friends.

Well, to be honest, I’m not the best role model. As an older brother, you don’t have much choice in the matter. You’re a role model by default. Be that as it may, you may not be an especially great one. But hey, that’s what parents are for. In JB’s case, her parents were overgrown children themselves. To top it off, they split up when she was 10 and moved her away from her childhood home and friends. So she was off to a bad start.

Thankfully, JB is intelligent, if not a tad ignorant. She’s got brains, but she’s not always quick to use them. She’s passionate and creative whilst being lazy and overly content. She’s got high aspirations and hope, but has no purpose or direction. She’s been adrift for a while, and it’s finally starting to come around and kick her in the ass.

Chên. Shock, the Arousing. A little karma catching up with the bum.

JB quit her job 2 years ago to pursue her dream of becoming a published writer. Her room mate and long time friend had come into a nice little sum of money, and graciously if not insanely agreed to let JB and her tenacious twin CC live off her for 6 months while they gave living their dreams a try.

It was a nice idea, and I said “Hey, if you think you can pull it off, why the hell not?” That was 2 years ago.

Room mate and long time friend, MG, eventually ran out of money. She along with JB and CC managed to piss through a sizeable hunk of change in those 2 years. They all live in a filthy, shit ass apartment along with CC’s 6 year old daughter. Cute kid. They survive surrounded by the din of their own filth and trash, and the clatter of all the precious shit they’ve spent their money on. Finely crafted, highly collectable limited edition crap. They have no money, except for MG who works for a living again. Earns a paycheck for working for a living. JB and CC trade in used cds to buy cigarettes. They’re on the dole for heating assistance. CC’s is waiting on some legendary 6 figure settlement from Comcast for a life altering fender bender that has left her crippled. She’s not actually lame. But see that smudge on the xray that looks like a thumbprint? That’s trauma.

They have 1 car between them (JB and CC. MG has her own wheels.) Said car has been in disrepair for sometime. It passes inspection, but barely. Hell, I’ve had more than a few cars like that in my day. Last week, the poor thing gave up the ghost. A lack of oil left the old girl with a bad ticker, and it finally seized.

After a couple of close calls with parental intervention, JB finally got off her tush and started looking for a job in earnest. She ended up getting hired at, of all places, the very company whose bonds she had slipped a mere 2 years ago. All she had to do was pass the simplest of tests. One were all you had to do was not do something for a month or 2. That’s pretty easy, really. Shouldn’t be too hard.

Ahhh, JB. They found a little THC in her tinkle. Did I mention that JB’s mother works for this same company? She does. Mother is a little upset. Mother has good cause to be. Mother thinks it might be time to start parenting again. So do I.

Now I’ll be the first to admit I have erred in my day. Sometimes I’ve even erred in spectacular fashion. I continue to err, in a much more subtle fashion now that I have some responsibilities in life. Because those things matter to me. I’ve always managed to keep my head above water, and plan just far enough ahead to give myself something of a cushion should shit come to pass. Because it often does. Case in point, the furnace just shut off because we’re out of oil. They oil guy is coming tomorrow, but it’s still tonight and our furnace has just shut off. Oops. Guess I should have taken the trip down into the basement to check the oil level a couple of days earlier.

That said, JB does not have the kind of safety net I’ve always kept. She’s still got blind hope where I’ve always had a jaded realism. She still firmly believes it all just work itself out. I’d be happy to eat my hat if it ever did, but I know it doesn’t work that way.

I’m sitting here tonight, listening to The Dirty 3 and thinking about that big brother role. And whether or not I need to pick up the mantle and be one while I try to do a better job at being a husband and a father. I’m weighing possible interventions and probable outcomes. Right action versus mindful action. I’m thinking about how much I need to clean up my own act as well. Her big chen is my little chen. A tap rather than a slap. Time for TKSr. To get behind the mule and plow. Only by doing so could he teach JB and TKJr to plow.

What to do, what to do… I was going to watch Devil’s Rejects. Instead I think I’ll take a much needed leak, smoke a couple of butts and mull things about until I fall asleep.

Happy Brumalia

Tonight is one of those nights where I'm sitting here on the couch, doing nothing much and thinking my useless thoughts. I thought I might be nice and share a few of them.
I haven't been paying too much attention to the brouhaha over the "War on Christmas." People arguing over something so pointless usually just makes me tired.

Then I happened to wander by Mycalls blog, and saw his very eloquent entry about the true spirit of Christmas. I agree with him, that's what it really is all about.

But, I'm not feeling so eloquent or nice this evening. Small minded people really tick me off. So I'm going to offer up my personal solution to the whole problem. I'm working on a new system here, folks. In theory, it works as follows: Complain about something unimportant, and we'll make your life so fucking miserable you'll learn to shut up and get on with life. So, here goes...

Apparently, in the United States, the federal government does not technically have any national holidays. I did not know this. The federal government does, however, recognize 10 annual holidays (recognize is a funny word. Does the government say "Hey there, Independence Day. I've seen you around, I recognize you. I digress.) Those holidays would be:

New Years Day, Martin Luther King Day, President's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day (celebrate work by staying home!), Columbus Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

One of these things is not like the other ones. Hhhmmm... only one of them seems to be a religious holiday.

The religious right complain about the secularization of Christmas. The other side doesn't want religious displays. So, let's piss everyone off... no more Christmas holiday. That old separation of church and state thing. No more day off from work. No more day off from school. You want to sit at home or in church and meditate on the virgin birth? Take a fucking vacation day. You prefer to gather at a relatives house, get drunk, eat too much food and spend wads of money on useless shit no one really wants? Call in sick to work. Schedule a day off with pay.

That ought to please no one.

The other thing we could do, since the actual granting of holiday status is apparently up to state and local government, is have Christmas celebrated on different days in different places. If we're really clever about it, it could be fucking Christmas somewhere every day of the year. Woohoo!

The whole origin of what we now know as Christmas is so murky and convoluted anyway. December 25th has about as much to do with the birth of Christ as tit fucking has to do with reproduction. Christ's Mass, Hanukhah, Kwanzaa, Winter Holiday... whatever you want to call it, just enjoy it. Do we really need to start treating the people in this country like bratty children? If you can't all shut up and enjoy the day, we'll take it the fuck away from you. It's starting to seem that way.

Anyway... I enjoyed Christmas, despite the familial obligations that can be tiring and stressful. I enjoyed it because I love the people in my life. Even the ones I neglected to send a card to. I have ADD... these things slip my mind. Trust me, if you haven't heard from me lately it's probably because I think about you a lot. But that is beside the point. My point was, I think, that we have one day a year where the basic idea is to think and act kindly toward everyone. To give, to love. To reflect, to celebrate. People need to make an issue out of that? Fuck you. Fuck you all.

So, I have my eval at work tomorrow. 5 years I've been toiling away at that place. Putting up with constant shit, dumbasses, lazy, slow motherfuckers. I do love my job... really.
I'm not a big fan of the evaluation process. I have to write little mini essays anytime I give myself a "Performance is outstanding and far exceeds job requirements." Of course, I give myself that grade on everything. Because it's true.
The problem is this: I have to defend my grade while meeting with my boss. Which means I have to watch what I say and play nice. I can't say "Since no one else can be bothered to do their job, let alone do it right, my performance is outstanding. I do my job and I do it right. Since none of the other lazy idiots here ever get fired, or even in trouble, there must not be a lot expected of them. The other person who does my job shops on line all day. Ergo, I must be exceeding my job requirement. Unless my job requirement is to do my work and everyone elses. If that's the case, I'm probably just squeaking by."
I can't tell her that she doesn't understand or even know half of what I do. I can't tell her that I take charge and get stuff done. In fact, when I go to another manager to get some advice, my boss sees it as going over her head, and she gets pissed. I could, and probably should go into more depth on that, but I'm supposed to be writing my eval right now.
In short, I'll spit out some buzzwords, write vague sentences, and listen to her tell me I don't spend enough time training people. Never mind I don't have the time to train people. Never mind the fact that everytime I've tried to train someone, 50 fucking idiots come to me for help.
She'll probably make some comment about me over stepping my boundries. Never mind that while I work in Operations, I answer to people in a number of departments. Forget that I get asked to and am expected to do all sorts of things that are outside the scope of my responsibilities. Forget that I have a good relationship with managers in other departments, and am on committees with them where things get discussed. Never mind that somehow, somewhere along the line, someone other than me decided I should be involved in making policies. I don't have clearly defined boundries, so how am I supposed to know if I'm over stepping them?
Whatever. Just give me my 5% raise. I fucking deserve it. End of story.

Happy B-day, Jebus

So... the holidays are over. Well, we still have that whole new year thing coming, but the gift giving, family seeing, drive all over the damn place part is over. My back hurts. I'm tired. I'm over caffeinated.
Christmas was fun. It was the first one where TKJr could really enjoy it, and he did. He was pretty well behaved, considering he had 2 days with no naps.
KG got me some nice stuff. The topper is a new electric guitar. Now, hopefully... I'll finally start learning to play something other than power chords and "Ode to Joy." KG gave a lot of thought to her gifts, and mostly bought me stuff she thought I would like. She knows me well.
My parents got me a Hitachi 3/8" 14.4V cordless driver drill. Nice! I have some man chores that I've put off for months because driving a screw by hand sucks ass.
I'm a little let down on the dvd front. Nothing! I did win "As Good as It Gets" and "Somethings Got to Give" in a yankee swap. Think I'll trade those in...
Oh well. We also got about $400 toward a new computer. I'm thinking Dell.
I thought I had more to say, but I don't. I have to work tomorrow. Right now, I want to get back to my new favorite read.

My favorite Christmas song

In the immortal words of Mr. Garrison, "Merry Fucking Christmas."

Merry Fucking Christmas - South Park
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs...
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday...
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book, The Koran
And hear some holiday wishes
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
And fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in India,
I've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about...
And that's why in December,
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog, and eat some beef
and pass it to the missus
Incase you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate.

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin...
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin...
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake...
and that is why I'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say...

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
Incase you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say..
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too..
Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
Thank you, Mr Hat..

I'm Mr. Stagger Lee!

Top 5 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds albums


1. Murder Ballads . Dark, dark humor abounds on this album. 10 songs, all as the title suggests, murder ballads. Nick joyfully inhabits the mind of the various killers. "Stagger Lee" has my all time favorite line in a song ever... "I'd climb over 50 good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole."
2. Henry's Dream. Atmospheric, moody... this is a great album. "Christina the Astonishing" is a haunting track.
3. The Boatman's Call Nick's first post-rehab album. It's an abrupt about-face from his usual over the top ballads. Here we find deeply, painfully personal thoughts. It's not a happy album, but a great one none the less. It was my soundtrack for a few years.
4. Let Love In This is probably his best known album, contains the track "Red Right Hand." My personal favorite is "Do You Love Me (Part 2)", but as already shown, I have strange tastes.
5. B Sides & Rarities I wish more bands, esp The Rez, would do this. A 3 disc box set of every B side, outtake and non-album track ever. I'm a completist when it comes to my favorite bands, and it costs an arm and a leg trying to collect all the EPs and singles. Thank you, Nick, for putting it all together in one place. Best track, his duet with Shane Mcgowan on "What a Wonderful World."

Eat exuding oinks!

This list was tough. I've been putting off doing these guys because it's so damn difficult to come up with my favorite 5. Each album is such a unique creation it's hard to rate. That said, this is what I managed to nail down...

Top 5 The Residents albums

1. Residue DeuxThis compilation of out takes served as my introduction to the eyeballed ones. For a collection of orphaned tracks, it does a fairly good job of introducing a newbie. Before "The Sleeper" was half over, my heart was taken.
2. The Big Bubble Probably one of the most unpopular Residents album out there. You either love it or hate it. This one is like a soundtrack to insanity. Sung completely in gibberish, the raw emotion is unnerving. According to legend, the band was at odds with their label. It shows. Me thinks this whole album was a big old "fuck you." I love it. "Gotta Gotta Get" is one of my favorite songs in the whole world.
3. Stars and Hank Sadly, I only have this on LP, so I don't get to hear it much. One side is Hank William songs, covered in a fairly straight forward manner (Residentially speaking, of course). Side 2 are Sousa songs. The Sousa side is recorded with ambient crowd sounds, so it seems like you're on the sidewalk watching a parade go by. One crazy friggin parade, mind you.
4.Wormwood "Curious Stories from the Bible." Indeed. Probably one of the crowning moments for the Rez, this album takes some of the darkest, most fucked up stories from the Old Testament and puts them to music. Sung from the perspective of the characters. Musically this is the residents at their peak. This was the second album I got, and doomed me to drooling fanhood forever more. "Burn Baby Burn", I love that song!
5. The Warner Brothers Album This is actually part of the Rez's pre-history, and never officially released. I've heard 2 remix versions now (Eyeball sanctioned), but I'm fortunate enough to have a copy of the original, and I love it. Immensely. The unbridled enthusiasm, the raw sound... you can't beat it.
6. Diskomo 2000/Goosebumps Told you I couldn't do 5. When I first heard about The Residents, it was the Goosebumps EP that was described to me. The teller of the tale didn't remember the album title, only that it was scary renditions of nursery songs. I lusted after this, and amassed most of my collection before finally finding it. This is perhaps my most beloved album. It really is kind of creepy.

Well, I could go on and on, but that'll have to do. Thank you Molius for introducing me to Mozilla. Cntrl + Tab makes these lists a whole lot easier!

Schnappschub ein familienfoto

Top 5 Peter Gabriel Albums

1.Passion . The soundtrack to "The Last Temptation of Christ". Say what you want about the film, this album is incredible. Haunting, moving, inspiring. I would often listen to this while writing.
2.Us . A deeply personal and introspective album. I've liked this album since it was released, but it wasn't until a car trip from Ohio that it really started speaking to me.
3.Peter Gabriel 4 aka Security . I actually bought this album for the sole purpose of visiting my friend Jen P when she worked as a cashier at Caldor . Ended up being one of my all time favorite albums. "Rhythm of the Heat" and "Lay Your Hands on Me" simply kick ass.
4.Peter Gabriel 3 aka Melt . Gabriel once said he wanted his albums to be like magazines. Same title, different content. First time I ever got rip assed drunk (on SoCo, no less), I sang a very painful, off key rendition of "Biko" to my girlfriend on the phone. "Intruder" is a great track as well. I've been listening to this one a lot lately.
5.Ein Deutsches Album . Same album as #4, except sung in German. The mixes are a bit different as well. I poked around trying to find info on why Gabriel rerecorded the album in German. Didn't find much except one mention of it being a response to his solo work not being very big in Germany. At any rate, it brings a whole new dimension to an already outstanding album. I just picked it up on CD after only having it on vinyl for the last 10+ years. I also just discovered that he also recorded Security in German, so I guess I'll be hunting for that soon.

Top 5 Led Zeppelin

Ahhh, screw y'all. I'm getting the obvious ones out of the way first. I was going to pick the box sets for # 1 & 2, but that pretty much encompasses every single album. So I'll try not to cheat...

1.Led Zeppelin . Right out of the gates these boys were a force to be reckoned with. Favorite track.. "How Many More Times"
2.Led Zeppelin III . Mmmm, mmm, good.
3.Led Zeppelin II. What can I say, the best albums had no proper title. "The Lemon Song." Woohoo!
4.Physical Graffiti. I'd put this in my top 10 just on the power of "In My Time of Dying." God damn, that song rocks.
5.BBC Sessions. For the longest time I only had a cassette of this, taped off of BCN back when BCN played music. Perhaps my all time favorite rendition of "Dazed and Confused."

Next up, something slightly more esoteric....

Let the lists begin...

So, I decided to kill a few days worth of posting with a bunch of Top 5 lists. No real reason, I just feel like doing it.

I'm going to start with Top 5 albums, by band. These lists are completely subjective. I'm going strictly by what albums I own, and which ones I listen to the most. Take issue if you must, this is by no means a scientific, accurate or relevant list.

Top 5 Pink Floyd albums

1. Echoes . I usually don't go for the "best of" collectections, but this 2 disc set really hits home. Excellent selection of songs, and the tracks are laid out well. Great for first time listeners, long time fans, anyone looking to chill out for a few hours.
2.Dark Side of the Moon . Goes without saying, really. KG's fave as well. Awesome album from start to finish.
3.The Final Cut . Probably one of the least popular albums. It was their coda, and is pretty much all Waters. I don't know, though... for some reason I really enjoy it.
4.Animals . I first got into Floyd when I was watching WKRP. Johnny Fever was playing "Dogs", much to Mr. Carlson's dismay. I really dug the sound, and this was my first Floyd album.
5.The Wall . High school, angst, The Wall. This album was the soundtrack to my late teens.

That's all for now!

So damn sleepy....

Well, today has been a grand waste of a day.

I ran out of Adderal this week. I kept forgetting to call the doctor and get a refill. It's not an easy thing to do. Since it's an amphetamine, I have to have a hand written script. I can only get a month's worth ata time, and I have to go into Davis Square to get it.

I take Adderal because I have ADD. One of the problems with having ADD is that I often forget to do things. Things like calling in for a refill. So I ran out. I had only been taking it during the week until a couple of months ago. KG suggested I start taking it 7 days a week, since I wasn't doing much on the weekends. So I complied, and now I tend to get a lot more done around here.

Anyway, I ran out. Didn't take any yesterday, didn't take any today. This morning, I got up with KG, got TKJr ready for daycare, and brewed a pot of coffee. I was supposed to be in Walpole around 11 for a trooping event. Went into the bedroom to lay down for a minute...

Woke up at 2:30 this afternoon. I slept all friggin day. What do I have to show for it? Missed the troop, didn't get anything done, and my back is totally fucked up. I'm in pain, and now KG is pissed at me because I was snappy.

Phew!

We closed today.. woohoo.

I have the rest of the week off. Yes indeed, that is a good thing.

We'll do si do in the snow

I'm watching Year Without a Santa Claus . Half watching, but enough is seeping through to trigger a bunch of dusty yuletide memories. And I'm in the mood to share!

My parents worked pretty hard to keep my sister and I believing in the jolly fat guy. They came up with some pretty smart cover stories. I really have to hand it to them.

Early on, all I wanted was Star Wars toys for Christmas. I guess I was 5 or 6 when I became concerned about something. According to the TV, Santa had a bunch of elves toiling away up in the North Pole. Well, I knew full well that my Star Wars toys were made by the good folk at Kenner . I knew they were trademarked as well. So, I wondered aloud, how could elves be making them?

To which my parents spun this: Santa was a wholesaler of sorts. He had deals with all the toy manufacturers, and bought at a deep discount. This helped explain two other potential issues:

There are so many kids in the world, no one man and a team of elves could keep up with demand. And, what kid in the 70's wanted a wooden train?

Second, why didn't I get everything I asked for or wanted? The answer to that was as follows...

Santa talked to each and every parent and determined what they could afford to spend on their children. Santa then selected from the child's list what he was able to get. Mom and Dad had to pay for the toys. Santa, of course, passed the savings on. But the stuff wasn't free.

That kept me believing for a long time.

Finally, someone takes note...

When you're a member of the 501st , you tend to notice little details when it comes to SW costumes. Glaring errors are annoying.

So, when a bunch of TKs go to see the SW exhibit at the MOS and see this, naturally they/we are disturbed...

We pointed out to the staff numerous times that the ab plate should be underneath the chest plate. In fact, there were 30 stormtroopers walking around, and none of them looked like this.

We were told only LFL could open the case and fix it. Well, looks like someone finally did something about it...

Thanks, guys!

C is for conifer

The family went out today and bought our Christmas tree. TKJr had a blast running around the lot. We came home, I set it up, dug out the lights and ornaments and now it's all Christmasy here.
KG and I did our first ever Santa shopping while my parents watched Jr. We spent almost $15o, which is actually a lot better than I anticipated.
My parents took Jr to The Christmas Place, which I presume is some huge Christmas Tree like store. Apparently, TKJr was a little freaked out by a pair of life size nutcrackers. (Or should I say person sized, since lifesize would technically be their normal 12" size). Jr enjoyed looking at various ornaments. When my parents got him back to the car, my mother discovered a Homer Simpson ornament in his pocket. Seems he decided to keep that one!

Flying solo

All I'm going to say in regards to JM are 4 words: Fuck you, bitch. Seriously.

Now I feel better.

Today was the day from hell. JM decided not to show up, hence the FU. So, I was by myself. Had to do expiring cert reports, FIF reports for both districts, caseload reports and deal with all the nurses. Had to collect all the freaking laptops for the ref update. Had to help 3 MCH nurses, who of course will now come and see me for help instead of her.

But, I got it done. I was busy as hell, but the day went quickly. I think she should be fired. Argh, now I've said more about her when I said I wouldn't.

Didn't leave work until 5:30. That was due to collecting laptops, having the network go down and delaying the 1200 page report I had to print (3 copies of the same 400 page report, for the record) and the weather.

2 hours to drive home. I had to stop at the Shaw's plaza because I ran out of windshield washer and the glass was covered in salt. Figured I'd fill up (had a gallon in the back seat) and get some coffee. Friggin Dunkins was closed. (Yes, it makes perfect sense to me to send people home in the middle of a storm instead of making them stay and do their jobs and then leave when everything has been cleaned and plowed). Actually, I have to note that Weymouth apparently has some sort of religious thing against plowing. Our streets are not plowed. At all.

Got home in time for stone cold pizza and bedtime for TKJr. On the plus side, the oil company came out and serviced the furnace, and it's actually warm in the apartment.

Going to go stand on the porch and smoke a butt, play a little XBox, and go to bed. Back to work at 6AM tomorrow.

Good zombie weather

Nothing like a few days in a row of freezing temps to make it zombie safe out there. That is, safe for us.
Humans, of course, are warmed blooded creatures. We produce heat. Zombies are dead. They do not produce heat. They are room temperature.

Since the human body is made up of mostly water, freezing temps = frozen zombies.

It might suck to walk down to the Qwikimart in the cold, feeling the bite of the wind on my face. But, it's nice to know I won't feel the bite of zombie teeth on my arm because those fuckers are frozen solid.

I've been thinking about zombies lately. This is, sadly, not an unusual occurance. Anyhow, ever since we moved to the downstairs apartment, I've been concerned about defending ourselves against attack. We have 19 windows and 3 doors, and we're on the ground level. Not good.

Presuming that an actual zombie outbreak would follow the Romero model (slow, unthinking zombs), I think I've worked out a good plan. Break down the side entrance. It's about 10 feet off the ground with wooden steps and small landing. That'd give us plenty of wood to barricade the other 2 doors, and leave us with an escape route. Take down the neighbors fence, more wood. Nail and screw said wood over doors and windows from the outside. I have noticed in various movies that boarding up a window or door from the inside works well against small numbers of zombies. Any more than 10, and they'll push in the barricade with brute force alone. Since they can't think and aren't very coordinated, I doubt they could pry boards off the outside of the door.

I was thinking I would have to kill the upstairs neighbors. I don't like them, and I want the second floor as a fall back. Remember, always retreat upwards. Basements are a death trap. We could easily tear down the staircases to the second floor. JM had a good idea. Rather than kill the upstairs neighbors, bind them up and save them to use as bait should we decide to make a run for it.

I like that idea.

Bang, buzz, brrr

A little trigger happy , fucker?

I'm sitting on the living room couch, half watching the Sci-Fi channel. I'm wearing wool socks, sweats and a wool sweater. And I'm fucking cold. I can feel cold air blowing on my neck despite the caulking in the windows. The problem with this shit ass apartment is that there is no insulation in the walls. In TKJr's room, if you put your hand on the wall, it's frigging cold. To the touch.

KG has the kitchen stove cranked up and open. The thermostat is set at 80. The furnace is currently not running, and the temp is reading 68.

Fuck this place. Seriously.

My ride home tonight... 80+ minutes. So fuck that as well.

And finally... the baby monitor keeps emitting static. It's annoying.

Sam Neil is a handsome man.

I think I pulled a muscle in my back Monday. I had presumed it was from nearly slipping on ice, but KG pointed out it was bothering me prior to that. So, I deduce it was from picking up my kid at day care. I had to hoist him over a baby gate. That's frigging sweet... I fuck up my back picking up my kid. It's been killing me for two days now. Driving is agony. Any time I have to depress the clutch, I get a shooting pain down my leg.
It's an old injury... partly from 2 years in funeral service and partly from lifting a piece of scenery when I worked at Atlas. Usually it doesn't bother me, but when I hurt it I hurt it good.

Well, that's all the pointless bitching I have for tonight. Tomorrow JM is off, so I'm sure I'll be pretty busy. At least if the drive in is bad, I have some new, awesome music to listen to. So I got that going for me.

Underflakage

Take one overblown, dire forecast. Add a bunch of people who would rather bang out from work then face a slushy commute. Throw in KG having the day off.

Net result: Super fast commute to and from work, and one very happy me.

The ride both ways was so quick, I didn't even make it all the way through Melt .

I'll savor it for now, cuz I'm sure as shit not going to have such luck again.

Time to make the donuts

It's snowing today. I spent the better part of yesterday and today pushing fingertip caulk into all 19 of the windows in our shitty, drafty apartment. I spent some time and money at Home Depot getting winter related supplies. Most of what I bought was weatherstripping, and not very exciting. I did, however, purchase my very own T-50 , and I'm pretty psyched about that. Apparently, it's the World's #1 staple gun.
Granted, it's not the P35 , but few things are.
Winter in New England sucks. I've lived here most of my life, and the 5 years I didn't live here I spent in Philadelphia, so I know winter. Everyone bitches about it, yet we all still live here.
There are some great things about living in New England, specifically my little corner. The South Shore.
On my way back from Home Depot, I decided to stop at Dunkin Donuts for some coffee. There's one right down the street from HD. However, it's on the left and right on a busy intersection. So, I drove past it. I could have stopped at one on the right a little further up with a drive thru, but that would mean not taking a backroad home. So, what did I do? I went to yet another one across from the CVS that I was headed for.
When we drive down Route 18 to see my mother, I can pass 8 Dunkins before finally settling on the one I want.
Quincy literally has a DD every 1/2 mile. Case in point, I put my zip code in the store finder and came up with 46 stores within 10 miles of me.
Thank you,Bill Rosenberg . I love you, man.